LOVEHATE

12

Mild smut warning!

When I woke up with Shawn's body draped over mine, I cursed the fact that we were at my place. I couldn't exactly sneak out.

There was a reason I'd always left. I had no idea how we'd act the morning after. We weren't friends. Would we fake it and be polite to each other since we'd just shared a night of intimacy? Or would we go back to spitting vitriolic words at one another? Neither scenario appealed to me.

"Hey," I said quietly as I poked him in the ribs. "Wake up."

He stirred slightly and then wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I'm sleeping."

"I think you mean you were sleeping. You're awake if you're talking, and you need to get up," I said as I tried to squirm out of his arms.

"Just ten more minutes," he said groggily as he fought to keep ahold of me.

I sighed and gave up. He shifted positions so that he was spooning against me.

A minute later I felt him kissing my bare shoulder.

"I thought you were sleeping," I said.

"I'm up now." He pressed against me to show me that his words were a double entendre.

"No, Shawn! You need to get going. Lillian will be home soon."

He pushed my hair aside and started nibbling on my neck. "Like she'll be surprised I'm here?"

"I don't know, but it will be weird. We shouldn't be doing this at all!" I argued.

"Mmm. I think we should be doing it more. I'm home for awhile. You should come visit me at night like you tried to that one time."

His hand was now cupping my breast, and I was feeling extremely turned on. If he moved his hand somewhere else, he'd know it.

Using all my strength, I pushed his arms off me and climbed out of my bed. I was completely naked, and I blushed as I saw how he was smiling at me as he looked me up and down. I grabbed a sweatshirt and some leggings and put them on.

"You really want me to leave?" he asked, sitting up. He was also naked and made no move to cover himself up with the sheet.

I looked away. His excited state was not easy to resist; it was screaming to me, 'Hop on, Sadie!'

"I've said you need to go, so yeah."

"You know," he said as he got out of bed and started gathering up his clothes, "if you weren't hellbent on being such a pain in the ass, I'd take you out to breakfast."

"Why fight over pancakes when we can just as easily do it here?" I said.

He frowned at me and shook his head. Then he quickly got dressed and started to leave. A second later he walked back in my room, taking long strides straight over to me. Grabbing me by the shoulders, he leaned down and gave me a very deep kiss.

"Last night was amazing, Sadie. I hope to see you again soon."

And then he left my room again.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath before chasing after him. He turned when he heard my footsteps. I launched myself into his arms and started kissing him.

I broke away to say, "Come back to bed, but when we're done, you have to leave and never come back."

"Whatever you want," he said as he picked me up and carried me to my room.

~~~~~~

Three days later I was having a bad Shawn-craving so I made a late night visit to his condo. I let myself in with the code he'd given me and waved to Stanley as I passed the guard station. He just shook his head at me.

I knocked on Shawn's door, somewhat nervous that he might have company. He answered and smiled at me.

"Sexy Sadie."

"Hey. Are you alone?" I asked.

"Very. Come on in."

I followed him inside. He was wearing sweats and a plain white cotton t-shirt. Somehow he made this ensemble look incredible.

He sat on the white sectional couch and patted the spot next to him.

"You missed me?" he asked after I'd sat down and he'd put an arm around me.

"I missed something about you," I said honestly.

He chuckled. "You're so goddamned blunt. You could lie to me, you know? Pretend like you tolerate me. I get that liking me might be a stretch."

"I'm not one to pretend," I said as I climbed onto his lap.

He grabbed my ass with both hands, pulling me forward so that our bodies were lined up perfectly.

"You're using me, eh? I don't know how to feel about that," he said as he pulled my sweatshirt off. He licked his lips when he saw I wasn't wearing a bra.

I moved against him. "You seem to be feeling pretty good about it."

Over the next few months, this became a routine. At least two to three times a week I'd show up at his door. We'd bicker a little, have sex, and then I'd go home completely satisfied. I never stayed over.

Occasionally we'd see each other out at a bar or a club or a party and we'd go home together, though we never made that obvious. When we were in public, we generally kept our distance because we both knew that if we started talking, we'd argue. Sometimes the arguing was hot and almost like foreplay. Other times it was exhausting and made me question what we were doing. Even if we didn't talk much when we were out, there was a lot of furtive touching as we passed each other or when we were briefly near one another. We had a hard time keeping our hands to ourselves.

One night we were at that seedy bar near campus. Shawn was next to me because it had been the only available seat when he arrived, but I was turned towards Lillian, ignoring him. He was turned towards the two guys to his left.

We may not have been talking, but his hand was slowly making its way up my short skirt. We were in a dark corner, so I knew Lil couldn't see. I worried she'd notice my reaction, though.

His fingers inched closer and closer to my panties making slow strokes along the tender skin of my inner thighs. I glanced over at him and saw he was deep in conversation espousing the virtues of some vitamin he'd recently discovered. His face gave nothing away. Meanwhile, I was biting my lip and trying my hardest not to let out a moan or a whimper.

I thought for sure he'd stop once he reached my underwear, and I figured I could keep my cool with some light over-the-panty touching. He didn't stop. His fingers swiftly bypassed the cotton barrier, making me jump in my seat.

"Are you okay?" Lil asked.

"I just got a cramp in my calf. What's that called? A charlie-horse?"

"You need to eat more bananas," she advised.

"You're right," I agreed. "Do we have any at home?"

"Maybe," she said. She then turned to Owen who had leaned over to ask her something.

I closed my eyes and cursed Shawn. I hated him for the power he had over me. I also wondered how far he was going to take this game he was playing.