LOVEHATE

25

The next night, I caught a ride to everyone's favorite nasty college bar with Owen and Lil. After he'd parked, I asked the question that had been on my mind all day.

"Will Shawn be here?"

Owen and Lillian exchanged a quick look before he answered.

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh. Is he out of town?" I asked.

My Instagram stalking told me he wasn't, but maybe he'd slipped away undetected.

"He's around. I know he's writing a lot these days," he said, catching my eye in the rear view mirror.

"Did you invite him tonight?" I pried.

Owen turned around to face me. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Shawn asked me to not invite him to stuff if you were going to be there."

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I knew things were not good between us, but I didn't realize they were so bad that he couldn't stand to be around me.

"I'm sorry," he added, his expression showing me that he truly felt bad about sharing this info.

"It's not your fault," I said. "I guess he hates me."

Lillian turned and looked at me, her eyes flaring, "The both of you are such idiots! He's not avoiding you because he hates you! God! Just text him or something!"

She was holding tight to her theory that Shawn and I were subconsciously in love. I decided to let it drop before she got any more worked up.

We got out of the car and went in the bar. Kyrie was sitting at a big table with Owen's other two roommates. As we approached them, I hoped they didn't hold what happened between me and Mark against me. Everyone greeted me with smiles and warm hellos, which was a relief. But then again, it was unlikely that Mark would have said anything negative about me given how sweet he was. Maybe I'd been stupid to let him go.

I went with Owen to grab a couple pitchers of beer. As we waited, he resumed our conversation.

"You should tell Shawn you and Mark didn't work out," he said.

"What's the point? He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Sadie, Lil is right. He couldn't handle seeing you with another guy. That's why he was avoiding you."

"He said that?"

"Not in so many words, but it was clear as day," he said.

"I can't just text him out of the blue."

Owen sighed. "Okay. I'll text him that you and Mark are already over, and I'll tell him where we are. I'll bet you 20 bucks he here's within 45 minutes."

"It's a bet."

We carried the beer to the table and I saw Owen go on his phone. After he set it down he gave me the thumbs up.

I started talking to Kyrie. She asked about Mark, and I told her we weren't a good fit for each other, but that he was an awesome guy. She then told me she didn't see us working out. I felt like she wanted to say more, but I didn't press it.

She told me about how she relocating to Calgary after graduation to be closer to her boyfriend. They'd met online and had visited each other several times. They both felt it was time for them to be together, and she loved the idea of moving to a new city.

"How did you know it was love?" I asked her.

"It wasn't something I really had to think about. I just knew. You know? He makes my heart do flips when I hear from him or see him. I can't get enough of him when we're together. But most importantly, I know I don't ever want to be with anyone else."