LOVEHATE

22

Halloween was on Thursday. Lil convinced me to go out to our favorite shitty bar. We decided not to wear full costumes, but we both put on cute ear headbands. I wore fox ears and Lillian wore cat ears.

I knew there was a chance Shawn would show up. If he did, I'd explain that I'd broken my phone and leave it at that. He'd understand why I hadn't responded, right? There was no need to address his first text unless he brought it up.

After my good cry on Tuesday, I'd come to the conclusion that I needed to move on. I'd wasted far too much time and energy on a relationship that was nonexistent. If I saw Shawn around, we could be friendly, though I didn't think we could be real friends. It would be hard to go from having an intense sexual relationship to being buddies. The most difficult part would be resisting him if he wanted to hook up, but I'd cross that road if I ever came to it.

Owen picked us up and we got to the bar fairly early. We knew it would get crowded later and we wanted a big table. For this first half hour I sat and texted Tony. He sent me a ton of pictures of his costume, our parents in their zombie costumes, the decorated yard, and his group of 5th grade friends. I'd sent him my chili pepper pics over the weekend, but I sent him a selfie with my ears on.

Tony: say hi to Shawn for me

Me: he's not here

Tony: he's standing behind you

Me: what?

Tony: look at the pic you sent

I opened the picture and sure enough, Owen and Shawn were behind me talking. How had I not noticed when I took it?

I didn't want to turn around to look at them, so I opened up my camera and used it to look behind me. They'd apparently moved.

I was putting my phone down when Owen set several pitchers in the table. Shawn joined him with a stack of pint glasses, which he set down before taking a seat as far away from me as possible. We had a table for ten and Lil, Owen, and I were on the corner of one side while Shawn took the opposite corner.

"What the fuck, man. Move closer," Owen said with a laugh.

"I thought I'd save these seats in case it got crowded," Shawn explained.

"No need. Everyone else should be here soon."

Shawn got up and moved across from me, though he avoided looking at me. He honestly looked everywhere but directly at me. This was going to be a fun night. I thought about asking him if we could step out a minute to talk, but then everyone else started arriving.

Mark, the philosophy major, sat next to me. It was no secret that he liked me and had for some time. He knew, as everyone supposedly did, that something had been going on between me and Shawn. The other day, I asked Lil to see if Owen could subtly let Mark know that was over. If he was interested in me, I was now available. This was part of moving on.

"Hey foxy lady," he said, touching my pointed ears, after he'd taken his seat. He draped an arm behind my chair. Apparently Owen had spoken with him.

I smiled at him. "Hi. Happy Halloween!"

Mark was a good looking guy. He was tall and lean and had short brown hair. His eyes were bright blue and he had a smattering of freckles on his face.

Across from me, I heard Shawn scoff. I looked over at him and saw him eyeing Mark with contempt. Mark was fixated on me, so thankfully he didn't notice. Maybe Shawn was jealous, but that was irrelevant. He was seeing someone else, and it was time for me to do the same.

Beers were poured and everyone starting sucking them down. It was a holiday, after all. I'd had three pints of the crappy watery beer in a short time. I scooted my chair a bit closer to Mark's, and he immediately took his arm off the back of my chair and draped it around my shoulder. I was definitely feeling the alcohol, because I felt unusually comfortable with this move.