"you love me right?
we both know you
do." - k.sm
in which kim seungmin
is mentally unstable
and will do anything
to break hyunjin's
heart and stability.
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time written ; 21:58 pm time finished ; 22:38 pm
[oh my poop what this story reached 10k reads,, I can't believe people are actually liking this sadistic & heartbreaking shit :,) ❤️] CHAPTER FOURTY TWO — ♡ —
"would you die for me?"
death?
"do you love me?"
yes.
"would you kill for me?"
m—maybe.
"give me an answer."
I don't know what you want me to say..
"let's run away together."
what!? you're crazy!
"crazy, that's true."
w—we shouldn't..
"crazy for you."
should we just—
"just what? are you gonna say it. say those two words I dare you. watch what happens. you'll never find someone like me."
your words are filled with honey. your gaze is enchanting, your touch is like no other.
I want to let go, but everyone around me is saying no.
nobody can help me.
y—you're all I want..you're all I need..
"that's right. so, answer me."
o—okay..
"now seungmin, would you kill yourself for me?"
yes..
♡ __________
okay, quick story time. the boy I use to date was really..clingy I don't know how to explain it but the first question "would you die for me?" is actually something he has asked me. and it scared me. because he told me, he would die for me. self note, we're like 12-14 at the time, someone so young shouldn't be so sure about taking their life. I'm not kidding, it's scary to hear it, cause we've broken up many times, gotten back together
I feel as if this book is somewhat based off the toxic part of our relationship. no, he didn't abuse me, pull out knives on me. yet, he did limit who I can talk to
in my eyes he was lowkey the perfect guy for me. but that was another thing that kept me from leaving.
I would never find someone better than you.
we dated for a week or so in my freshman year. we went to different high schools so he was way more possessive. he told me,
"no guy friends. no celebrity crushes. don't put guys on your snapchat story. I am your top priority."
that's pretty hard to take it. I would get pissed off most days, he would send me paragraphs telling me how much I should change myself yet he would try and sugarcoat it like "oh, but I love you the way you are"
i would never change myself for someone. and you shouldn't either. as in appearance, personality you know? don't cut off people because your boy/girl- friend doesn't like them.
he was also a martial arts person, tricker. backflipper you get it when we would get in fights he would hurt himself to relieve the pain. and when he told me that, it made me so guilty. it made me stay with him because I'm the reason he's doing it.
I always talked to my friend about the problem. she would try and reason with him, tell him I loved him so much to where an ocean couldn't compare to my tears. yet it wasn't enough. he talked shit behind her back, talked back he was always angry. so I just snapped.
I couldn't really stand him anymore so I cut it off. surprisingly feeling the same way and it ended pretty alright.
overall we still have a healthy relationship yet we're just distant. I don't want to talk to him because I know he'll just reel me back in with his stupid manipulative shit.
it's just their voice, the attention, affection, how they care. makes you feel so wanted it makes me wanna run back, screaming everything was my fault but in reality it's not
you're blinded by the 'love'
wanting love and being in love are two different ideas
