Irreplaceable

3

"Charlie said his brother is going to nationals. I think he is going to be scouted some day. I mean, did you see the last quarter of the game? He was booking it. Oh Shelley asked me out again. I said no though. It's not that she isn't nice and all, but you know I am waiting for the 'one' and all." I was just rambling on as I picked at the cafeteria pasta.

Nate just sat and listened to me as he ate his sandwich. This was kind of our regular thing. Me talking incessantly and barely finishing any food and him listening to me ramble while he ate a cooler full of his mom's home cooking or whatever.

"Brad! Chris said he's got some of your CD's he borrowed last week. Meet up by your locker after third?" I heard my friend Mike shout. I gave a wave so he knew I heard him.

"Amy was asking about you again. I think she asked me out last year just as a gateway to asking you out now." I mumbled as a pretty girl with strawberry blond hair walked by with a wave. I hope she didn't think I was waving at her.

"Forget it. You know I'm not interested." Nate replied. I sighed.

"Yeah I know. I think I am going to get a job when summer break is here. I mean, exams are crap anyways so I should get a head start on finding a shop in the area that will take me. Plus, it will give me some exposure." I waggled my eyebrows at Nate and he deadpanned.

"The last thing you need is exposure." He grumbled. I laughed at him.

"How am I supposed to stumble on Mr. or Mrs. Right if I don't get out there? Greg had already met his true love by now. I figure if I'm going to be on course to finding my own perfect dream person, I need to get a move on." I babbled. Nate looked a little down but nodded. "Don't worry buddy. Yours is out there too."

I patted his arm and then tried to down as much of my lunch as I could, realising that the time was almost up for lunch and I was less than halfway through my food. I looked over to Nate and he was staring down at a bag of Oreos thoughtfully.

"Here. I'm not hungry." He remarked as he tossed them over to me. I lit up like it was Christmas and grabbed the bag.

"Fank Uou." I mumbled around a mouthful of pasta. He grimaced a little and smiled crookedly at the same time. I knew he had Physical Education now, so I wasn't surprised when he got up. He packed up his containers, patted my shoulder and headed out before the tone.

I tossed the last of my plate and ran out to my locker to stash my bag of sweets for later. It was when I was hurrying to my class that I caught sight of Nathan with his backpack slung over his shoulder and standing off to one side... with the most beautiful girl in our school, Shanta.

He looked serious. She was standing too close to him, one hand on his arm. She smiled and leaned towards him, but he didn't move away. He always moved away. Except maybe from me. It caught my attention. I heard the warning bell go off and it jogged me out of my daze. I ran off down the hall to my class, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

What had Shanta wanted with Nathan? Why didn't he move away like he did when all the other girls approached him? Was she asking him out? Did he say yes? I was confused. I mean, he hadn't exactly come out and said anything to me before. I guess I just assumed he wasn't interested in girls or boys yet. I thought he was ace?

He never showed any kind of interest in anything but our friendship. It was strange to think that he might go off and leave me some day for another boy or girl. I suppose that was exactly what I planned to do some day to him when I found my true love though.

I had been talking about it for years. How I was going to meet the perfect person unexpectedly, like my brother Greg did. How I was going to sweep them off their feet just like him. I wanted the kind of love story they had. The kind of comradery and connection that they shared.

Hell I was jealous of how close the two of them were. I wish I had a bunch of extra years with my brother first, so I wouldn't feel like I was loved any less or had less time with him than his husband. We were blood, but I had fewer years to hang out with him than Mark did.

I only had weekends, holidays and birthdays ...when he was able. Ever since I can remember, it has always been Mark and Greg. I liked Mark. I really did. I was just sad that it was never Greg and Brad. Even for a bit. Not like other classmates had. My brother was almost like another parent. Someone to look up to, sure, but not the same kind of companion and friend.

When Greg had started really selling his paintings, he didn't have as much time to come and see me. When Mark had taken over the programming development company, we saw the two of them even less. They didn't have time to drop by every weekend anymore. They didn't have time for dinner in the middle of the week. They had their own lives.

I understood. Or at least I wanted to. I figured that if I found my own soulmate, then I wouldn't feel so lonely. Family were alright, but the person to love and have a future with? That was what I figured I needed. So I sat down and concocted this plan to find them. Starting working over the summer was the first stage.

Nathan even offered to come and join me. What a great friend. We could both earn money and hang out together after work too, you know, if I didn't find my one true love on the first day. I chuckled to myself at my thoughts. A girl in front of me turned around and shot me a pointed smile. I mouthed 'sorry' and went back to writing my notes.

Maybe if I stopped daydreaming and did some paying attention I could get some better marks, I thought to myself wryly. Nah.