Irreplaceable

16

"What is the matter Brad? You have been staring at that car for five minutes straight without blinking." Dan clanged down his tool onto the tray to jolt me out of it. I looked at him with the same depressed look I had been wearing for a month or more.

"Nate still isn't talking to me and I failed my English midterm." I replied morosely. He looked at me in surprise.

"Can't help you with Nate. What did you have to do for your midterm? Answer some questions about Shakespeare or something? I really despised those stupid plays." He muttered the last bit and I laughed.

"Well, that and write a short essay. I suck at essays though. I only got two out of twenty on that part and it sunk my mark." I shrugged at him. He laughed a bit and I glared at him. "What? I can't write an essay. I suck at it. So sue me." He looked at me a minute and then took pity on me.

"That's it. You gotta learn this shit so you can pass. I'll help you. Come on." He dragged me into his office and had me haul out my notebook.

"Dan I don't even know where to start with this crap. I don't even understand my notes." I complained.

"Screw your notes. Look, you don't just write an essay. You build it. See you got three pieces... the Intro, the Body and the Conclusion. The intro is the engine. You gotta come up with a good idea so you can argue it well, and that is what makes it go. You following me so far?" He looked at me seriously, pointing to the scribbles he was making on my page, and I nodded.

"Yep. The Intro is the engine. Makes the essay go." I repeated.

"Okay, next. The body is the the thing that gives it shape. You use your argument to convince the reader that the essay is good. Usually the teach wants three points. Stick to that and don't get too complicated. Like, the sky is blue is too hard to argue. My sister is smart might be a little easier. See she got good grades, she got my parents to buy her a new phone, and she married a good guy. You got it? Those are proof that she is smart." He went further, pointing at my sheet and giving me examples.

"Okay, the body is three proofs for the engine. Make it beautiful so people like the car." I was getting this analogy.

"The conclusion is the exhaust. You are just rehashing everything. Restating the engine, and wrapping it up. Make it the last sound off in such a way that the reader leaves satisfied." He finished. I sighed and thought about it.

"Conclusion is exhaust. Leave the reader satisfied. So... your sister has proven her smarts with the stuff she does and is therefore a genius." I looked up at his grin.

"Well. I don't know if I'd go that far, but you got the idea." He allowed. Carl called out from the shop and I hastily put my book away. Dan gave me a wink at the door and we both got back to work. I mulled what he said around my head a few times and it was sinking in.

Maybe I should apply this garage stuff to all my work.

*

"Dude! Check it out. I wrote an essay and got a B minus." I flopped the papers down on the lunch table with a grin and was pleased to see two shocked faces stare back at me.

"Did you get your sister to write it for you?" Mike asked. I glared at him and yanked the pages away when he went to grab them.

"No. I wrote it myself. Dan explained it to me. See the intro is like an engine...." I huffed in response.

"Oh god. Make it stop. He is starting with his car stuff again." Chris moaned as Pete joined us. Pete just rolled his eyes and bumped fists with me.

"Is that poutine? Gimme a bite." I leaned over with my fork and Pete growled at me, covering his food.

"Screw off mooch. Get your own." He said to me. I pouted but his arm stayed firmly in the way of my favourite dish.

"Nate would've shared." I grumbled. Mike exchanged a glance with Pete and cleared his throat.

"Yeah well I'm not crazy." Pete retorted. I glared at him and then ignored their talking as I searched the room in vain. He wasn't here. I caught a sympathetic look from Chris and decided to just get out of there. Lunch was a bust.

What was so crazy about sharing food with me. Asshole. I munched on an Oreo and it made me think of that day he gave me a bag of them. Nate always shared his food with me. Didn't all good friends do that? Of course they did. Pete just wasn't a very good friend. He probably had cooties anyways. It wasn't like I really wanted it that badly anyways.

I stopped dead in the hall as the two people I least wanted to see at that moment were walking down the hall. I ducked into the closest door, which turned out to be the art closet. My butt pressed up uncomfortably against some wooden easels that had not been put back properly. I held my breath unconsciously as my head pressed up against the door to listen for the footsteps to pass.

"Come on! Just a bite?" Shanta's voice was chipper and playful. I heard a low rumbling laugh. God I missed the sound of that. My eyes closed as I pressed my hand against the door.

"Not a chance. I am a growing boy you know. I can't afford to share." He teased back. I ate up his voice like a drowning man. I didn't even care that he was talking to her. At least I could hear him.

"Oh that's bullshit and you know it. You had three burritos before we left and a nacho supreme. Come on and gimmie a bite. You still have two!" She complained with a cheerful lilt. I heard a slight scuffle and his laughter again.

"No! Mine. Go away." He barked back. I smiled unconsciously at the banter between them. Then I bit my lip. I had no idea they were so close. I listened to their footsteps go down the hall, further and further away. I waited until I couldn't hear his voice anymore. I sniffed and wiped my face. It didn't surprise me that my hand came away wet.

I was being replaced. He didn't need me. I had always needed him more and I had just not realised it. I came out of the closet and shut the door carefully behind me. There was no one in the hall to watch me walk away. My chest hurt. Maybe I should go to the nurse's office.

My feet carried me to the door and I heard someone else talking to her inside. I hesitated. What was I doing? I pulled on my hair and looked around me in confusion. What the hell was I doing? I couldn't afford to miss class. If I failed this year, I was done for. No take backs. I hustled down the hall to my locker and pulled out my books for next class.

I didn't have time for this. I didn't have time for heartbreak. Wait. Heartbreak? I looked around me at the other students piling out of classrooms and realised I was so deep in thought that I hadn't even heard the bell go off. I was losing it. All around me there were smiling, laughing people and I felt like I was closed off from it all.

Boyfriends wrapped their arms around their girlfriends and hugged them. Friends waved and gossiped with each other in the halls. I used to do that with Nate. Hug and gossip between classes. I headed to my room in the D-wing and watched as other groups split up and went their separate ways to their classes. Nate had always walked me right to the door.

Come to think of it... I watched as a guy dropped his girl off at her classroom and snuck in a quick peck on the cheek before heading off down the hall and around the corner. Nate's classes were in A-wing. I turned into my classroom and sank into my seat with a thud. His classes had always been on the other side of the school.

Why the hell did he always drop me off if he was on the other side? Didn't that mean he had to run to class at switch time? Wait, he picked me up after too. It ran through my brain at light speed suddenly. Popcorn, chips, cookies, sips of his milkshake, picking me up with his car, walking me to class, that look... the one he gave me that day with a little bit of a blush on his cheeks.

"Bradley. What do you think the character was experiencing at this moment in the story?" The professor looked at me expectantly. I blinked at him. I had no idea what he was talking about but my mouth opened anyways.

"An epiphany." I looked at his surprised face with one of my own. A murmur rose around me and I looked down at the books on my desk.

"That... that is correct. Glad someone did their homework." The man continued, but I didn't hear a word.