Tell Me The Meaning of Love - Ziam/ Nouis/ Larry - One Direction (boyxboy)

chapter once!

Harry's POV:

It was about 11 o'clock when I decided to go out to a bar. I know it sounds Stupid and dangerous, but suck my balls, 'cos I do not give a flying fuck. Louis and niall had gone out to nandos, liam was upstairs in his room and zayn.... I'm not sure where zayn is. After niall and louis walked off he drove off. Though I know he'll be back before I'm back. Which won't be before night time. It appears not all is as well as it seemed. I'd gt my shoes and jacket on already.

I changed my shoes to my supras. More comfortable and stylish. I found my car keys and slammed the back door. I so didn't want to deal with any more shit. It was just pissing me off. I looked up to see liam giving me a curious glance out of his window. I just flipped him the bird and drove off as fast as the speed limit would allow.

I found myself not at a bar. No at a club. It was only 3 in the afternoon and the music was still beating. Making me want to join in. I saw a red headed chick, about 5"7 with curves in all the right places. And when she turned around. I just couldn't stop myself. I ran up to her, clasped my hands around her waist and smashed my lips onto hers. She gave an inwards gasp, before smirking and kissing back. We were in the middle of a heated make out session, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I groaned and turned in frustration. I was met with a fist. Which then connected with my nose. I felt the breath leave me. It took all I had to keep standing. I then received a blow to my stomach. This had me tumbling to the ground. I was kicked in the face, back and stomach. Though I did protect my face. I heard a thunderous slap.

"What the hell are you doing flash?! Get the fuck out of my club. NOW!" I heard a woman shout. Though I was in too much of a daze to comprehend anything. The music now lost to my senses as I lifted myself up.

As I clambered out of the club I noticed how dark it was, how long had I been in there? Either that or my eyes are closed. I ran forward. Not knowing where I was going. So not helping. I found myself in a familiar place and followed my feet in the direction I had to, to get home.

-------------2 hours before he got to the house---------------

I was slowly making my way back to the house, my car being destroyed. I know what I felt now. Before I'd become a flirt, the guy who sleeps around. A fake? It was dark so not helping my mood. My break up with Hayley killed me inside. I just couldn't take all the pain. Throwing myself at random girls just seemed to be the best way, to soften the pain. Then. A couple of weeks my feelings for louis had began to grow. Not in the friend way even more. When I saw him kiss niall. I just couldn't take it.

When I breathed now, it was to keep me alive. Not the pleasure of knowing life. I used to be able to crack jokes. Make snide comments, people could laugh at. The ball of joy and energy I used to be was slipping away, becoming dimmer by the day. Louis can't even see how I feel. I try, to keep on pretending that every thing is ok. But it gets harder and harder. The pain In my chest grows stronger and stronger. The more pain I face the more the light fades. I blame myself, I pushed away the people I loved the most. Being stuck in the past really does that to you.

The only real thing that keeps me alive is the music. It's like a stream. You follow it and it grows larger and larger. I couldn't sing my feelings, but other people could. I know what imperfection is. It's the definition of flaws. Did god really make us with flaws, or do we define them yourself? I remembered some lyrics of a song I wrote.

* I carved myself out of stone. I will dig my own path. I just need someone to walk it with me. Cos all I can feel is loneliness. I will be forgotten. We are always forgotten.*

I did, I carved myself out of this stone. Though my fate is not set in it. I dug my own path, I'll pour the cement of foundations, for the path leads somewhere. It's seems I am lonely, the family and friends I have is slipping away. Won't someone come and take me away. From this desolate place, this place of a house. Yet I can not quite call it home.