dream girl | ed - ON HOLD

maybe

last day, hawaii
thalias pov

in a few hours we all will be headed back.

after that whole kian thing yesterday, I still feel iffy. I still feel guilty.

i don't know how anything will be when I go back. it definitely won't be the same, I know that for sure.

the thing is, I should be confident with my decision. but I'm not. even though Ethan said he loves me, I don't really believe it. does he? or is it just lust.

i know Ethan. he isn't the perfect boyfriend type, like kian was and always will be. Ethans known for messing around with girls a bit, so I'm no different from all the other girls.

I feel like the only girl he had genuine feelings for was Madison. After that no one has really been able to tame him, so what makes me think that I will?

I'm just an ordinary girl.
nothing special.

This entire trip has been... interesting.
One I won't forget for sure.

Things took quite a turn and a part of me is over the moon, but the other part is still completely crumbling.

I miss kian. I can't even deny that. And now I feel selfish once again because I'm the one who let him go in the first place.

I guess I'm still holding onto everything that we once had, and I'm afraid to let it go. Afraid to move on.

School starts in three days. three days.

I checked the time on my phone and realized I still hadn't packed. so I grabbed my pink suitcase and started on that.

>
"I can't believe we're back already" Ethan mumbled as he nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck, whilst his arms wrapped around my torso.

"I know, it went by so fast" I spoke as I turned my head to look at him.

"come home with me" he asked.

"I can't right now Ethan, I want to go see my parents first" I spoke honestly.

"Okay babygirl" he said, leaning in and kissing me on the lips.

This is weird. it feels good, but it's still weird for me. I want to take things slow with him, but that might be hard knowing Ethan's personality.

After we landed at the airport, Ethan drove me home and I gave my parents the biggest hug ever.

It was now dinner time, and I guess I had to tell them about Kian sooner or later.

"um, so Kian and I broke up" I said, breaking the silence.

"What?" My mom said, a little too loud.

"yeah" I mumbled. It's still a sore subject. I still feel guilty.

"why?" My dad spoke.

well shit.

I didn't really think this through. But I feel like honesty is a big policy for me, and I want to be honest. Especially with my parents.

"I'm sorry. I really am and I made a mistake" I spoke. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"I cheated on him. I kissed Ethan" I said, my voice cracked and the tears spilled out. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

After this whole thing, I've tried to stay strong. But I can't. What I did is so wrong, especially because kian has been nothing but sweet to me this entire time.

"what the heck thalia" my dad spoke, I could sense the anger in his voice.

"I'm sorry" was all I could say.

"baby, don't cry. You made a mistake". My mom spoke as she walked over to me and gave me a hug.

"Have you apologized to him" my dad asked.

I nodded my head, physically not able to say anything.

"It's alright, we all make mistakes" he told me, which gave me a bit of relief.

I honestly thought they would be more angry than this. And I'm so thankful that they aren't. Even though I deserve being yelled at for what I did.

"So do you" my mom started talking but stopped.

"You and Ethan?" She asked.

"I love him mom, a lot" I answered truthfully.

Gosh my feelings for this boy are so strong. He doesn't even have to touch me and I go insane. Every time he looks at me, I can feel my heart bursting inside.

I can't explain it. It's crazy.

"We just want you to be happy, and if you're happy with him than that's fine with us" my dad spoke.

"Thank you. I love you" I said as my mom returned to her seat to finish dinner.

Maybe just maybe, things will come together. Maybe I will feel better about myself soon.

Maybe something between Ethan and I will actually progress.

Maybe the guy who I'm so in love with, does genuinely love me back. Maybe the guy who told me he loves me, actually means it.

Maybe he does.
___

so hi guys! I'm aware I took a while to update on this book, but the truth is that I've been feeling uninspired lately with this book.

I'm actually working on another book right now, and it will be out when this one is finished. I'm really happy with the book I'm currently working on, and super excited to share it with you.

The book is called "gold". Stay tuned <33

Vote + comment for the next chapter!