You Always Build It Better the Second Time Around

Chapter 33 - Irreplaceable (Moments of Our Lives)

Kind of a filler chapter- be warned.

...

It has been decided that we will fight Nikolai in the place he wishes. Dimidium Latus. Koba has volunteered to head over there first thing tomorrow afternoon to report on any unusual things Nikolai might've hidden. Demigods have been sent to each of the realms in the west with Latin names to unearth whatever it is Nikolai had me bury in the earth when Seraph was in his control. What has been recovered is technology unknown to any of us, with Seraph only understanding a little about it, and the chip in my eye serving no further use here. I have an urge. A desire that I had buried when Seraph gave me control over my body again. But now that this urge has surfaced, I fear that it will only grow stronger, leaving me no choice but to act upon it. I don't want to consult what I feel with anyone. I fear I might not be able to trust the people I wish would trust me. So before I go... I must leave one lasting mark on his heart, my dear Mikaela, for he has no power to stop what Fate has long since decided since my first breath of life. He must live forever, and breathe for me, but my breath must cease, and so must by heart stop beating. The pieces I leave, I pray he cherishes. The moments we shared, I hope he remembers. The feeling of my lips... I wish to linger upon his.

Love is too good to be true. And that is why ours will not be able to last. I am destined to fall, and him destined to... remain.

...

"Mika," I smile fondly at the blond, twirling a lock of my hair between my thumb and index. Mikaela has long since started messing with the feather in my hair Shinoa gave me, and up until this point, we've been in a comfortable silence. "I wonder... What would be necessary to sacrifice, in order to defeat Nikolai?" I don't want to straight up and tell him what I'm planning, and what will happen because of it, but I honestly want another's opinion. It would help if it were Mikaela's, too. Though, no matter what he says, I have already made up my mind and I will not waver in my decision. I haven't any time for that.

Mikaela hums, telling me he's heard, but he hasn't an answer. "Something important, I suppose. Something meaningful and big. Why? Are you frightened?"

I smile, and if I were facing him, he'd be able to see the pain and melancholy I feel. "I just wanted to know what to expect. That's all."

Mikaela sighs, lowering his body off the bed and beside me on the floor, our backs to the bed. He brings his knees close. "Yu. What is it? You're scaring me."

I muster up another smile, forcing myself not to give any indication that I am indeed frightened, though of something other than the war. "It's truly not anything for you to worry your pretty little head about." I am frightened of what will become of you, I want to say to him, when you realize that my life will end in the next few hours. I am scared of what you will do to yourself when you find me missing from your side. And I'm saddened, that I have promised you so many things, and yet I will have to break those promises...

Know they are not an afterthought to me. They never were. And know that I never intended for this to happen- nor for us to fall in love with each other. I honestly wasn't expecting such a wonderful twist in my once miserable life. I think that my fate has changed some, though I'm still not to live forever with you. I was once awaiting my death, but being with you- you proved to me there was more to my very life than the pain I was experiencing. I enjoyed our moments, and even our tears, because it was something we shared together.

A note left for him.

I experienced so many new things with you, and I'm truly happy. I smile at the thought of it, even now as I await my impending doom, and pave a way for you to never reach your own death. I want you to live. If you don't live, I'd never forgive you. You also have to love.