Heart Flutters; [afi]

[o2]

"Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves."

-Virginia Satir, The New Peoplemaking, 1988

January 23rd, 2008|| Age 14

        It was the knocking on my window that woke me up at 3:42 a.m. on a Thursday. I was dreaming that I got stuck in the middle of a hurricane, the water climbing higher and higher as I stood in the middle of it, screaming for help. The only other people with me were my mother, who had died last year of breast cancer, Karli, and Ashton. Ashton was at the top of the hurricane, yelling at me to grab his hand but Karli kept holding me back, saying it was too dangerous for me to jump up and grab it. So instead, I remained at the bottom, conflicted and scared. The hurricane then died down as a tapping sound kept ratting in my head, finally waking me from my nightmare. It took me a few seconds to realize that the tapping sound was actually pebbles and God-only-knows-what-else hitting my window.

        I scramble out of my bed, rubbing my eyes roughly to try and remove the sleep dragging them down. I already know that my hair is more than likely a disaster and that I have drool crusted along the corner of my mouth, but its hard to care when I'm not even fully aware of what's going on. I whip open my blinds quickly, check to make sure that my pants are actually on (because often, I have this habit of slipping them off in my sleep) before unlocking the hinge and opening the window.

        It's the cool air of Sydney at night that hits me first, then the scent of weed from the stoners on the corner of the street blazing up beside the old oak tree. Ashton peers up from under his curls at me, waving dorkily with his pebble-free hand. The pebbles topple to the ground with a crackle as he begins to climb the tree beside my house, our usual routine when one of us is grounded. Things hadn't changed much since we were eight, often when Ashton was forced to the principal's office, I followed. Since high school though, Ashton and I have started branching off into different classes, he chose to stay in the simpler subjects, I chose to go more advanced.

        This week was different though because Ashton and I were both in different places. I was in the library, tutoring Patsy Mettleson in Science to help her pass while Ash hung out with his friends outside. The relationship between Ashton and Daniel had only gotten colder, so often they were at war with one another, resulting in many fist fights and a few scars. Needless to say, Ashton and Daniel had it out again this week, of course Ashton wouldn't tell me what exactly had happened, only that he was victorious in the fight. Their relationship has soured even further the past couple of months once Ashton heard word of Daniel's little crush on me, he's assumed the role of 'protective best friend' even though I insisted I could handle it on my own.

        After a few punches and kicks (and Daniel shit talking, even though he was already on the ground with a black eye and missing tooth), both Ashton and Dan were hauled into the office. Ashton was suspended for the week, along with Daniel, and both are supposed to clean the school yard for a month. Ashton shrugged it off like it was nothing, even though I yelled at him for twenty minutes about it, stating that he was only trying to look out for me. I was more upset over the fact that my best friend isn't going to be in school for a week, even though Karli would still be around to keep me company.

        "Do you know what time it is?" I shout, even though my voice is hushed. Ashton grins harder, his dimples dipping deep into his honey-colored cheeks. I'm so jealous of his ability to stay tan, I remain glowing despite the Australian sun.

        "Time to see my best friend, right?" He whispers back, shifting his weight on the tree branch. He jumps and lands on the roof quietly, taking a second to peer over my shoulder and listen for any suspecting foot steps. I move off to the side as he hops through my window, brushing any leaves or dirt from his ripped up AC/DC shirt. "Sorry, I ended up tripping a few times on my way here, it's hard to see in the dark."