Heart Flutters; [afi]

[23]

"Even when the sky is falling down
Even when the earth is crumbling 'round my feet
Even when we try to say goodbye
And you can cut the tension with a knife in here
Cause I know what'll happen
If we get through this."
-5 Seconds of Summer, Gotta Get Out
January 11th, 2014 || Age 20

        Nervous is the first word that came to mind when my doorbell rang at precisely 7:59 p.m. the day Ashton and I made plans. I spent endless hours trying to figure out how to calm my nerves, after all, he still technically is the same Ashton I fell in love with years ago. It's like I've been faced with the challenge of my first date all over again and even though I know that Ashton adores spaghetti and hates video games, it still feels like I have to re-learn him all over again. It's a fresh start for both of us and even though tension still wraps my heart like a wire, I want to somehow get back to how things were before he left, because that's the boy I'm in love with.

        I fiddled with the loose strands of wavy hair framing my face one last time before exhaling heavily, at this point I'm already borderline hyperventilating. Ashton and I are going to be completely 100% alone, since Kalen is out with his girlfriend and Liz is still with my aunt across town. For some reason, I wish that they were here. Simply so I wouldn't make any bad decisions, things would stay PG-13 and I wouldn't have to worry about further complicating my relationship with Ashton. Things are already beside the dumpster, I don't want them falling back in.

        When I open the door, he's standing there, his back turned to me and eyes staring up at the stars. He's wearing a plaid button up shirt with black skinny jeans, black boots embracing his feet. I cough awkwardly at the fact he isn't facing me and he jumps slightly, spinning around to face me. He staggers slightly with a crooked smile and shoves his hands quickly behind his back, like he's hiding something. My eyebrows shoot up subconsciously and I drop a hand to my hip and step aside, waiting for him to come in.

        "Hi," He says softly but doesn't enter the house. Instead, he stands nervously on the doorstep, his left foot tapping against the concrete. His hands are fidgeting behind his back and my curiosity gets the better of me before I have a chance to greet him back.

        "What're you doing?" I ask blatantly, impatience laced through my voice. He chuckles childishly and reaches out, pulling me into a tight hug. My heart jumps through my ribs and my skin sizzles happily. I hug him back surprisingly, wrapping my arms tightly around his slender waist and nuzzling my cheek into the crook of his neck. The feeling of Ashton's arms around me takes everything back to when we first started dating, just how happy I was to finally be able to call him mine.

        He doesn't pull away for awhile but instead murmurs into my ear.

        "I missed you, I know that I'm not supposed to be jumping into all of this so fast but you have no idea how much I've missed this."

        I feel his breath against my ear, his lips gently brushing. I shiver slightly and he laughs before planting a kiss on my neck and pulling away. I blush instantly and swat him teasingly with a taunting smile. There's no denying that I've missed this between us as well, even though I'd rather not admit it out loud. I promised myself that I wouldn't jump back into this, jump back to him. Best friend or not, what he did still wasn't right.

        I drop my gaze down to my feet with a grin and let him enter my house, his eyes running over everything.

        "Nothing's changed here, has it?" He asks, turning back to me with a raised eyebrow. I shake my head quickly, still feeling light headed over the fact that Ashton's back in front of me, flesh and bones. He reaches out and grabs my hand as he slips his lip between his teeth.