Heart Flutters; [afi]

[06]

People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say, 'I can work around that. I can make something out of it.'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you. -Elizabeth Gilbert

May 31st, 2012|| Age 17

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not nervous about appearing at school today after my whole break up with Calum. So far, only Calum's friends know and of course, Ashton now fits into that category awkwardly. I debate as to whether or not I should even bother telling Karli, especially since she's worse than Calum at keeping secrets, regardless, she's still my friend.

When I approach my locker, she's waiting for me patiently. Her curly red hair is tied back into a thick ponytail, her blue eyes masked by black winged eye liner. She shifts on her feet forward and off of my locker as I approach, waving a free hand lazily.

Karli has always been much more chill than me. She always knows what to say, what time to say it, and the best way. I, on the other hand, am too awkward, say the wrong things, and then beat myself up for it for eternity. The only people I can manage to get my words out semi-decent are Ashton, Karli, and Calum. Aside from that, I usually end up talking about something completely strange like the fact that I tripped going up the stairs in the morning or something.

"Where's Ash?" Karli greets me, a red eyebrow cocked up. Ashton had made mention of a doctor's appointment this morning, saying that he'll see me around lunch time. I instantly became worried, Ashton isn't the type to go to the doctor for anything. He'd have to lose a limb or something before he'd ever go, he says that they're so bland that it makes him nervous. After reassuring me a thousand times that everything is fine and that he's going to see me later, he jogged back to his house. I had to walk to school alone.

"Appointment," I reply back as I swirl numbers into my combination lock. It sticks briefly then finally comes undone. Karli moves closer to me and ducks her head near the inside of my locker. I cast her a questioning glance as I hesitantly remove my books for class. I know that she's got questions, it says it all on her face. I brace myself for the worst when I realize that she's going to probably ask me about Calum, which isn't exactly something I want to be talking about at this point.

"I've been thinking a lot about you and Ashton lately," She begins and my head shoots up in surprise. I nearly drop the books that I've been bracing on my arm, Karli has always mentioned that Ashton and I seem too close for best friends. I had always told her that it was all we would ever be, that was until Ashton confessed that he's in love with me and well, then I confessed myself.

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously, nervous for what's to come next. My eyes flicker over the photo of Calum and I in my locker. We're sitting on the edge of the docks together, the same docks we broke up on, holding hands and kissing in front of the sunset. We laughed so hard at how cheesy the photo looked, but it ended up being a favourite of mine and the only one I was okay with. It was a photo that really showed us as a couple. My fingers itch to take it down, knowing that it probably isn't the best thing to have hanging in my locker now that we've ended things.

"You guys have been friends for so long, longer than you and I have, and lately I've noticed that something seems... Different, almost, between the two of you. It's like you're both holding this big, huge secret but I know you well enough to know that it isn't just big, it's extreme," She sighs and folds her arms over her chest. "Look Lex, I guess what I've been thinking about is the whole idea of whether or not guys and girls can really be friends, y'know? Everyone says they can't and I've always said they can. Yet.. Somehow I feel like there's more to it than meets the eye between you guys."