The Sound of Silence (Previously I Know What You Did Last Summer)

{Fourteen} I Can Make It On My Own

My fingertips brushed the corners of the slick material of the pamphlet before it slipped from my grip entirely.

My vision had blurred from tears over ten minutes ago as I stared blankly at that folded card stock in my trembling hands. The instant my eyes had fell on the bold word on the front, it'd become an impossibility to read on. I knew what I'd be reading and was in no hurry to have to face the reality of it.

Folding the pamphlet back into its original form, I set it down on the pink throw pillow at my side and grabbed my laptop from where it sat, closed, at the end of my bed. I glanced quickly at the support groups listed on the sheet, my unfurling my fingers in an allowance for them to dance across the keyboard.

My stomach churned as I grabbed a pen and started writing on the back of an old, unopened envelope. I nearly dropped my laptop at the sound of shattering echoing through the still house, my heart jumping in my chest. The thought of Kevin breaking in crossed my find for a split-second, put at ease only when Colton poked his head into my room with a sheepish smile.

He didn't say anything for a minute, glancing from my laptop to the pen and envelope, then back to me again. "Homework?"

I shut my laptop without turning it off and set it aside. Nodding slowly, I crept across my room and shoved the pamphlet deep in my sock and underwear drawer, positive neither of the boys would rummage through it.

"Mind if I use your broom? I accidentally knocked your mom's vase off the kitchen table." He asked, scratching at the back of his head; a nervous tell.

"Go ahead." I breathed softly.

He flashed a quick half-smile. "Thanks."

I watched him stride across the room, shifting anxiously on my feet. He nodded in gratitude once more as he passed, pausing just outside my door. He glanced over his shoulder, lips parted as if he were about to speak, then forced them shut again and continued on down the hall without another word exchanged between us.

*

Escapism; escaping the harsh realities of the world through fantastical thoughts and actions.

As I slowed to a stop outside the old country club, sweat soaking through the jacket hugged tightly around me, no amount of fantastical thoughts could help me escape the reality I would be facing in a couple minutes. I shot a quick look over my shoulder for the hundredth time to ensure I wasn't being followed, before crossing the line that divided the first step of the pathway up to the club and the sidewalk.

Entering the building, a short dark haired women who appeared to be in her mid-thirties waved me over enthusiastically. She had to repeat her question multiple times before I was finally able to hear her chirpy voice over the deafening roar of my own thoughts.

"How can I help you, darling?" she asked.

I shifted on my feet uncomfortably, not able to muster a coherent word. She smiled encouragingly, but it didn't help. Rather than stand there uneasy, I pulled the pamphlet from my jacket pocket and set it on the desk in front of her.

She eyed me pitifully. "The group meets in the last door on the left at the end of the first hall. I hope they can help you out, sweetheart."

"Thank you." I whispered. I turned on my heel and stalked away before I could get lost in small talk with the secretary as she tried to avoid the serious subject at hand.

I followed the directions and stopped in the doorway of the large room. My eyes followed the oblong-like arrangement of the chairs. Women of all ages were wandering around the room, many of them at a banquet table with a red tablecloth full of food in the far corner.