{Fifteen} Hi, I'm Avery Spencer

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"Even the broken have the ability to be pieced back together again."

The words were a hairline fracture in the shell of hopelessness I'd felt for the last two months. Being in the presence of so many women that'd experienced different forms of assault and were here today to tell the stories made me feel as if maybe there was a little bit of a light shining at the end of the long, dark tunnel I'd been stumbling through all summer.

"Hi, I'm Bianca." The quiet voice to my left stirred me out of my thoughts.

"Hi Bianca." I responded, joined by a chorus of the same greeting from all around the room.

"For the newbies here, I'm Bianca Simpson. I'm a Freshman in college, a daughter and sister, and the victim of sexual assault." She paused, a bitter grimace etching its way on to her face. "I was molested by my uncle at a young age and continuously raped by my cousin for years. I tried to tell my parents, but of course, my mother didn't want to believe her precious brother would do such a thing, and God forbid his son would join in on it."

I could feel my heart aching for the girl as she continued.

"Eventually my father got them put away. My uncle is doing ten years, but my cousin skated by with only a year and a half because he was under eighteen. I still see him on occasion at family gatherings, but he won't even look at me, which is honestly a blessing in disguise." she swallowed with a small smile. "All this said, I feel like I'm doing good. I still have some bad days, but despite the obstacles, I know one day I'll be okay again."

I was so caught up in Bianca's story that I didn't realize that the spotlight had drifted from her to me, shining it's bright light right into my eyes and trying to break my impenetrable surface.

Millie nodded and Bianca squeezed my hand in encouragement. But I only made it as far as, "Hi, I'm Avery." Before my lips glued themselves shut and wouldn't open again.

I dropped my eyes to the glistening tile, surprised when Millie's hand found my knee. I looked toward her and was met with a warm, understanding smile.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. It'll get easier with time. You must have been through a lot these last few months. Don't feel rushed, take your time. We'll still be here."

Feeling exposed, I only dug my nails into my palm and stared at the ground.

After what seemed like hours, Millie stood and continued on with her coping techniques, many of which she wanted us to try and follow to help us cope with the assault.

*

I hugged the jacket folded over my right arm against my chest as I snuck into the house a little after ten. My sly attempt at getting upstairs unnoticed fell apart the second I caught my brother and Colton at the dining room table. Colton was lounged at the end, his feet kicked up on the black and white linen tablecloth as he scrolled through his phone. My brother, who's presence was a shock in itself, glanced up from his slumped position at the other end of the table, his can of soda halfway o his mouth.

"Late night, yeah?" Landon joked.

I laid the jacket on the arm of the couch with a sheepish look back in his direction. "Yeah, sorry. I should have called earlier. Isabelle was just trying to convince me to go to the Country Club again. You know how she is."

To my relief, my brother didn't look too far into the bold-faced lie. But sadly with that sense of relief came the guilt of lying to him.

When nobody said anything, I grabbed a banana from the large orange fruit basket from the middle of the kitchen table. My brother sighed quietly, happy to see I was making some sort of effort to eat.

I couldn't say the same about Colton.

He looked as if he were already sure that the banana wasn't going to end up in my stomach, but quite possible out in the neighbors yard as a midnight snack for their dog.

"I'm gonna head to bed." I broke the antagonizing silence.

I walked backwards a few steps as Landon nodded. "Night, Ave. Love you."

"Love you too." I said, almost breathlessly as Colton caught my wandering gaze. "Night guys."

I made my way up the stairs slowly, afraid if I ran up them I'd miss a step and hit my head on a stair or the railing.

I unwrapped the banana with a slight hesitation and tremble of my fingertips, taking only a bite of it before discarding it the trash beside my door.

Spinning on my heel, I peered out into the dark hall to make sure that neither of the boys had followed me up, then crouched at the foot of my bed.

I pulled the bottle of liquor I'd hidden under a pile of old clothes from beneath it, cradling it against my chest as I would a small child as I slid out my bedroom widow. I rested the bottle against a shingle before sitting on the old sleeping bag, relishing in the fresh air.

The sereneness faded only seconds later as my fingers brushed the cold glass of the liquor bottle. I stared at the transparent alcohol until it blurred with my vision, bringing the shaking bottle to my chapped lips. I cringed as the burn spread through my raw throat, the neck nearly slipping from my grip.

The bottle was pried from my shaky grasp before it could hit the ground. My head whipped toward my bedroom window, fearful I'd be met with my brother's disappointed green eyes. Instead, icy blues glistened under the dim light over my head.

He stared down the liquor before shrugging a shoulder carelessly and taking a sip. The action was followed by a cough, then a laugh. "Damn, it's been a long time since I've had hard alcohol. Don't miss this shit at all."

I felt my shoulders fall back as I leaned against the wall behind me, my head resting against the wall, eyes on the boy perched on my window sill.

Sitting a few feet away from him, my mind drifted to the stories I'd heard throughout the night. They all seemed to consist of some sort of sign of getting better and not relapsing back into your own thoughts. Every little part of me wanted, at the very least, to try and get a word about what happened out, but all I could do was stare.

He briefly looked my way, the neck of the bottle secured tightly between his index and middle finger. His lips parted, his eyes roamed my face, but he didn't say a word. He was trying all he could to get me to speak first; there wasn't any chance I would. We sat there, a few feet apart, both staring out into the dark, almost black night, in a complete and absolute silence. To my surprise it wasn't uncomfortable or tense, but there was almost a comfort in having him outside with me, even if not a word was said. It was as if there was some sort of silent understanding between us, and it was a feeling, though I was in denial of accepting, I liked.

He laughed a moment later, raising the glass toward the starless sky. "Cheers to not being okay."


****AN****

*Unedited*

Hope you guys enjoyed! Sorry for the late update! THERE WILL be a double update today! So keep your eyes open! The next chapter is exciting!

Let me know what you guys think/thought!

Let me know what you guys think/thought!

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