The Sound of Silence (Previously I Know What You Did Last Summer)

{Twenty-Two} What's In Your Head

I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart beating rapidly against my ribcage. Before I could fully take in my surroundings, I tore the small trash can from under the night stand and threw up the little I'd eaten last night. I sat there, dry heaving for over five minutes as my hair was gently pulled away from my face and held loosely behind me.

Once I was sure nothing else would try to come up, I swiped my sleeve across my mouth and bowed my head, wishing the boy behind me would disappear and we could pretend like last night never happened. Instead, Colton hesitated for a minute before resting a hand on my shoulder and turned me toward him.

He looked as if he'd been awake all night. Dark circles were around his eyes, bloodshot and seeming to pulsate in the light bleeding in from the blinds above the headboard. The worst part was he didn't look the least bit concerned with his current state but looked as if he was terrified I'd breakdown again.

"Are you okay?" His voice was so soft it was barely audible.

I looked at the blanket between us, acting as a nearly nonexistent barrier between our bodies.

"Stupid question." Colton muttered to himself, then added. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No." I responded, averting my eyes so he couldn't see the guilt in them.

He opened his mouth to speak, then decided against whatever it was he had been about to say and nodded, as if there was some sort of silent understanding between the two of us. I started to talk, but he cut me off with a shake of his head.

"Stop. Don't apologize for anything, Avery." He gently touched my hand, then held it between both of his when I didn't jerk away. "I told you I was here for you. I will always be here for you. And never apologize for falling apart, it just means you've held yourself together too long."

For the first time in two and a half months, the warmth of Colton's hands around mine, his body inches away, was actually somewhat of a comfort. Last night had been the best I'd slept in a while, even with the tossing and turning throughout the night.

I gently shook Colton's hand from my shoulder and swung my feet over the side of the bed, watching as the tips of my toes brushed the cold hardwood floor. I could see Colton opening his mouth in an attempt to speak out of the corner of my eye, but no words left it.

"Avery-" Colton started.

I stood, swallowing and averting my eyes so I didn't have to look at him.

"Thank you for last night." With no more than those five words, I slipped out of the room. The guilt eating at my chest stayed with me until I stepped into the kitchen. I jolted to a stop, nearly tripping over my feet when I caught sight of my older brother digging through the pantry. He jumped back, slamming his shoulder blade into the corner of the wall when he turned to find me in the dining room, the pancake mix hitting the ground with a loud thud that echoed through the kitchen and throughout the house.

"Jesus, Ave." He breathed, crouching to pick up the box. "You scared the crap out of me. You're up early. I didn't even hear you come down stairs."

I squeezed my eyes shut for a minute, breathing shakily as I ran a hand through my tangled blonde locks.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered.

Being the joker he is, even when there is a clear tension hanging in the air between us, he smirked and responded, "You just did."

I stared at him blankly for a minute before he made a gesture for me to go on, the smile slowly faltering.

"The alcohol last night wasn't from Colton going through Mom and Dad's cabinet. And he wasn't the one trying to take the pills. It was me." I paused, forcing my eyes away from the floor and to my brother. "Are you mad?"