1.3 Thomas

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New day, new chances. Well, for me at least. I'm happy when I wake up in the morning. You know why? Exactly that. I wake up. I get to live another day. That's quite the accomplishment for me you know. It's why I try to make the best of my time. I do whatever I want, whenever I want and get away with everything... Within limits.

You see, I have cancer. There's a big chance I get cured, but also a big chance I die in the process. It's this experimental trial my dad wanted. He says it should help me. Best thing? I can still go to school and my hair hasn't fallen out yet. Dad does everything to get me cured and make my life as happy as possible.

Everything he couldn't do for mom...

"Ellie! I'm leaving!" I shouted and grabbed my bag.
"Be careful! Don't get run over by a car!" she yelled back.
"If I die it's from cancer, don't worry!" I shouted and slammed the door behind me.

I joked about it sometimes. It helped me cope with it, really. If I made it seem like a false reality, I didn't have to accept it. But then came the hospital and doctors and check-up's and everything became real again... My feet were pulled back on the solid hard ground called reality. I could never escape it for long... It helps that no one at school knows about it, except for the headmaster and some teachers. But no students, no one of my class. It made my life a bit easier.

...

There was a knock on the door at the start of my first period. English. Mr Mills looked at the time, a bit surprised and called the one to come in. A boy opened the door and walked in. He had chocolate brown hair and big glasses on his nose. He didn't look nervous when all eyes were on him. Not afraid of crowds... That's something new.

"Hello Mr Mills, I'm Eric Smith and this is supposed to be my class?" the boy said, but it sounded more like a question.
"Ah yes, Eric, glad you could make it. Trouble finding the classroom?" Mr Mills asked and Eric nodded while looking around the room at the rest of the class.
"Well, you can take a place next to Thomas on the second row" I heard the teacher say and my head shot up.

Next to me? Is he absolutely sure? No one ever sat next to me. Well, I didn't exactly have a great reputation...

"As for the rest of you, I expect that you'll be welcoming to your new classmate and help him where necessary, okay?"
There were a few mumbles and nods, like always. Our class wasn't that active during hours. Eric sat down beside me and I took that as my chance to talk to him before someone would ruin his mind and he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore.

"Hey"
"Hi" he said with a weak smile and pushed his glasses on his nose.
"So Eric huh?" I asked.
"Why did you enter in the middle of the year?"
"Just moved here"
He didn't seem that interested in what I had to say. Like he was bored from the second I opened my mouth.
"Oh" was all I said after that.

If he didn't want to talk, we didn't have to. Class was about to start anyway and I needed to hide the fact I didn't read that stupid book. Luckily Eric worked as a shield cause he was new so Mr Mills never really looked in our direction. Long live new nerd immumity!

...

I unlocked my bike and put the key in my pocket. Trying to talk to Eric again this noon was a good idea. I found out he wasn't trying to be distant or mean to me, he's just not used to long term relationships. And by that I mean both love and friendship. But I like a challenge and Eric was definitly a challenge. I was gonna prove to him that we could make it happen. Even if it kills me.

I saw him standing with Benji at the gate and opened my mouth.
"Hey Smith! Get those legs moving!"
"Alright, alright, let's go" he laughed and looked at Benji.
"See you later Benjamin"
"Yeah, later" he muttered and watched us leave.
"He was grumpy" I laughed, even though I knew why.

I knew all to well... Ever since I was diagnozed with my disease, I kinda blocked out all my friends... I got mad at them for no reason, shut them out, started behaving like an asshole, playboy... I know I'm a horrible person okay! But in my defence, I thought I was gonna die! So I just did things without thinking of the consequences... But with Eric I have a new chance. He didn't know about my stupid moron fase, he still wanted to talk to me. And even if he would be gone after 6 months, I still thought it was worth it.

"Yeah, he has a crush on his best friend" Eric said as we walked.
"Wait. He likes Heather?!" I exclaimed.
"Oh, you know them"
"Small school, everyone knows everyone" I explained.
"I-I didn't know he saw her like that... And he told you that just now? After you met just today?"

"I'm quite good at guessing, to call it that" he stated.
"You know reading faces, body language... It's what you get when you constantly meet new people. It saves a lot of time to"
"That's so cool! Come on, read me" I said.
"Is your house far off? I rather do it while I'm standing still" he said and avoided walking into a streetlamp.
"Clumpsy much?" I asked as he pushed his glasses back on his nose.
"Kinda" he shrugged. We small talked the rest of the way home and I parked my bike in the garage before entering the house.

"I'm home!" I shouted. No reaction.
"Huh, guess I'm the first one"
"Oh, are your parents not home yet?" Eric asked.
"Uhm, it's just my dad" I sighed.
"And my older sister Eleanor"
"Sorry, I didn't know" he said instantly but I just shook my head.
"Nah, it's fine, my mother died years ago" I said and waved it off.
"Want something to drink?"
"Do you have Coke?"
"Sure" I said and walked to the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and the bottle Coca Cola. Eric sat down in the living room in the mean time, just looking around.

"You have a lot of family pictures hanging around" he stated.
"It keeps them close, doesn't it?"
"Speaking out of experience?" I asked as I put the glass down in front of him.
"My grandparents" he sighed.
"We keep a picture in every room, but I've never seen this before..."
"Well, she had cancer, we lost her very slowly" I explained.
"It wasn't pretty and it took me a very long time before I could even speak about it... But anyway, time for you to read me!"

I jumped down on the couch next to him and looked at him curiously. He sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Okay, fine! But I'm not some kind of clairvoyant okay?" he sighed and inspected my face. He stared into my eyes and frowned.

"What? What is it?" I asked.
"You're to cheerful" he muttered.
"It's clearly fake. I see right through fake happiness like it's glass"
He took his Coke and drank a bit while my smile slowly disappeared.
"M-my what?" I asked quietly.
"You heard me" he said.
"And seeing as your laugh vanished, you know I'm right. So what's wrong? If we're gonna do this whole friendship thing, I wanna know what you've got on your plate"
"I-it's nothing" I whispered and looked away, drinking my soda in silence.
"It's not. You've grown all quiet. You've never done that with me today" he said and made me look at him.

"Problems at home? School? Depression? Illness?" he listed, questioning. I thought I didn't react but apparently I did.
"Illness" he concluded and looked around. I saw his eyes widen a little and he put his Coke down.
"Y-your mother had c-cancer r-right?"
Tears stang in my eyes. Unbelievable... He knows... We've only met today and he already knows! No one knows! No one!

"Oh my God..." he muttered and got up. He stared at me for a moment before walking back to the hallway.
"Hey! Where are you going?!" I shouted and went after him, wiping the water from my eyes in the process.
"You have cancer, don't you?" he asked.
"It's not contagous or something" I muttered and he started pacing.
"Is this why everyone is so distant from you?" he asked.
"You sit alone at every subject, nobody talks to you in between periods and we were all alone at lunch. People avoid you Thomas... Please don't tell me you're a bomb"
"It's not because I'm ill" I stated.
"Nobody at school knows about it and I'd like to keep it that way"
"So why is it?" he asked.
"Let's go talk up in my room okay?" I suggested and motioned for te stairs.

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