Through different eyes

5.3 Eric

I took a pretty bad beating but I've been through worse. Some people would wonder how my life became to be like this. Wonder what happened to me to make me the boy I am today. Well, to answer one of your questions: I was born into this world.

My parents are spies, technological advanced spies to be exact. They invented things, went on missions for all kinds of people. Sometimes they acted as assassins, sometimes as police. Sometimes they broke laws, sometimes they did everything by the book. But what was always the same was the fact we changed our identities every so often. It was to protect us from their enemies.

Why would anyone want to place their child in danger like that, you say? Well, they tried leaving me with my grandparents... It didn't end well. Long story short, I don't have grandparents anymore now. Enemies will always find you, no matter what. That's why they keep me close, to protect me. They train me so I can defend myself, so I can take a beating, so I can hide my emotions when things get hard. No feelings, no attachments.

"Hmm, that looks good enough" Damien stated, inspecting my current state.
"Yes... I'll make our little clip now"
He took his camera and positioned himself. Before I knew it he was yelling through the empty room, hurting my ears. I stared at the ground, trying to focus on other things than his annoying voice.

"Hello there! If you're in dear Smithy's contacts -believe me he doesn't have that many- it means you probably know who I am! So I'll keep it simple!" he started. I forced myself to start crying, a plan forming in the back of my mind.
"Tell them what I want boyo"
I looked up with watery eyes, blinking. But not just blinking. No.
"T-the dr-drive..." I started, focussing on my pattern.

Short, long, pause, long, long. Pause again, long, long, long, pause, long, short, long.

"H-holding all the i-information regarding m-my fa-family... T-the Smith files"

Short long long. Short long. Short long short. Short. Short short short short. Long long long. Short short long. Short short short. Short.

"That's right peeps! The famous Smith files! All their little secrets and lies! Cause what did you expect what would happen Smithies? Have a peaceful family life while being spies? I don't think so!" Damien exclaimed, oblivious to the fact I was sending a message.
"Oh and before I forget! You disguised it as something else, isn't it? What is it this time Eric? Or is it Samuel? Or Jordan?"
I flinched at his attention. No, look around! I'm almost done!
"I-it's a keychain... o-of a r-rabbit" I whispered.

Long short long short. Short long short short. Long long long. Short short short. Short.

"Deliver it to me as soon as possible! You know where to find me!" Damien yelled and before he shut the recording off, I send out my last word.

Long short short short. Long short long long.

"That'll be all I need right now... Boss doesn't want me to get overexcited with my ideas for you so..." he muttered, holding my head up so I was forced to face him.
"Such a pretty boy... What a shame I can't stand your character"
"I wish I could say the same of you but you're ugly as hell" I stated, which earned me a slap in the face. I didn't expect otherwise...
"See! This is exactly what I mean! Why can't you just be a good little boy and shut up?"
"You do know I'm a Smith, don't you?" I smirked. Another slap. This time it left a stinging sensation on my cheek. Aargh...

Keep yourself out of trouble son, don't provoke them! I can hear my mom say it like she's standing next to me.

Show them you're a Smith! my dad would say. We aren't afraid of anything! I would correct him on his double negation and he would roll his eyes at me like a teenager.

Damien frowned, glaring me down. He put cloth in my mouth and wrapped some around my head so I was unable to talk.
"So, that should keep you quiet" he grinned, satisfied for now.
"We'll meet again soon... In the meantime you can think about how your whole life is a mistake and you were never meant to be born. Have fun with your thoughts! Bye bye!"

If you though Damien had a strange personality, you're absolutely right. I think he has gone insane due to his work over the years. I mean, no one in their right mind kidnaps and tortures a child to send a message, right? And if you can think of someone, please re-read the sentence and think about the 'in their right mind' part for a bit. I'm sure it'll be out of the question in no time.

But anyway, he left me alone in this cold dark room to be 'alone with my thoughts'. Guess it's not like in the movies and people don't tell their masterplan to their victim beforehand... One can only hope, right? I laughed a bit at the thought. Things would be so much easier if criminals worked transpatently.

I sighed and thought back to a few moments ago, the recording. I had spelled everything right, I think, but I needed to control it anyway. In my mind I ran through the recording once more, re-taking the steps I took, the words he said... If you're in dear Smithy's contacts-! My eyes went wide, realising what he had done. Damien would send the message to all of my contacts... Until now that would've been no problem, really. I only had my parents and a few other agents in case of emergency. But now, I had Thomas' number... He was standing in my contact list... He'll recieve this video...

Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of him. I dragged him into this mess, it's all my fault. My fault for getting attached, for getting feelings. He wasn't supposed to get involved, nobody can ever get involved. But here I was, sitting in a dark cold room, crying, knowing Thomas has recieved the clip. He would probably watch it today and finally know the truth about me... Damien stated that I had many names, that my parents were spies. But nobody knew my real name, my birthname. That's a secret I'll never reveal.

I sighed and laid my head back, trying to get the tears to stop. Please don't hate me Thomas... It's not your fault, it's all mine... Please forgive me. Please, I never wanted for you to hurt... I never wanted to fall in love with you. But I just can't help it. It just happened. What can I say? He's irresistable. Hot but cute and absolutely adorable. I started crying even harder, knowing I would never see him again in my life. When my parents got me out of here we would move to another country and change out identities once more...

Better start thinking of fun names and a new character to fit my new name... Maybe I could use Thomas? As a memory of him? I cried while shaking my head, chuckling darkly. No. That would be sickening. Anything but Thomas... Ha, Taylor would be kinda amusing. Maybe I could be a jerk in my next life? That would give me some variation at least. You can't always be the nice guy you know...

And it's hard, changing personalities like clothes, but I've never known anything else. I switch names like ink cartridges, swap homes like I'm getting new shoes. And if you would ask who I really am, my true personality, my true home, my true nature. I wouldn't have an answer. I simply forgot. It's been so long since I've been myself... Guess I lost myself on the way, haven't I? I only remembered my birthname and that's practically about everything from the orginal Smith that remains inside me. Guess it could be worse...

I closed my eyes and focussed on my breathing, on my heartbeat. Hopefully my parents would find me quickly and we could move soon. The quicker I got over Thomas, the better it would be for the both of us.