Drifting through the world

Chapter Twelve-Letter

Hazel

My eyes flickered open as an orange glow formed on the insides of my eyelids. They darted around the unfamiliar location as panic seemed to settle into the core of my heart once more.

I clutched onto the piece of fabric around me not noticing the familiar smell until I stood up and threw it away from me as though its mere presence could burn the skin on my hands.

My breaths became shallower as I stood back away from it.

It was only then that my eyes drifted to Adrian's limp figure and the worst possible scenarios seemed to plague my mind.

Had we been caught?

Dread washed over me as I crouched down to his level trying to see whether he was still breathing but his head was buried within his shirt and I couldn't see the rise and fall of his chest.

My head was still pounding as memories without warning came flooding through making themselves know in every corner of my mind.

"Adrian," I whispered my voice hoarse and barely audible. My throat felt like sandpaper. A wave of nausea came over me as I clutched my head.

"Adrian," I attempted to shout a little louder. I don't know what came over me when I saw his limp body lying against the rotting wall.

With my mind in the state that It was I wasn't really surprised at my next actions of raising my hand and slapping it across the back of his head.

He jolted awake immediately jumping to his feet almost knocking me over in the process.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR," he shouted making my ears ring uncontrollably. Still feeling sick I leaned my head against the wall.

"Well I'm sorry for checking that you were still alive," I muttered clearly annoyed at his lack of appreciation.

Realising that I was clutching my head between my hands he rushed over seemingly concerned but I was in too much pain to even care.

"What," he paused trying to look me in the eye but I deliberately avoided his gaze, "What happened back there?"

I promised myself I would never let him see me like that again but the fear seemed to drain all comprehensive thought out of my mind. It's suffocated me and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

The sad thing was a that this wasn't the first time he had seen me like this.

I immediately moved away.

"Why'd you even care Adrian?" my spiteful tone of voice was back as I struggled to salvage what was left of my self-confidence that was slowly slipping away.

He let out an exasperated sigh, "We're back at this again."

He was way too condescending for my liking so I stood up despite feeling like I was going to collapse again.

"What do you even mean by that?" I snapped as I watch his grey eyes turn darker each second.

"We keep going round in circles. I thought-"

"You thought the hug meant more than it did," I cut him off immediately not waiting to hear what he has to say. "Adrian..."

His eyes flicker with something I'm unable to catch before indifference washes over his face.

"You know what Hazel," he hisses. I try not to flinch at the anger in his voice. Try not to let buried memories rise from their graves.

With my fist clench along with my jaw, I stand my ground. He won't have that sort of control over me ever again.

"I'm done trying to seek your forgiveness," the words hit me hard cutting into the crevices of my mind and being repeated over and over.

My head was still pounding but I managed to whisper, "What you did was unforgivable..."

Those words were all it took to fill the trigger of his anger and relight the hatred that burned in his soul.

"Don't you think I know that?" he shouted his almost black eyes indistinguishable from his normal grey ones. "Don't you think that I remember everything I did to you to others all the pain I put you through?  You and everyone else think I just forget but how can I forget the pure terror you held in your eyes every time I saw you. How can I forget the pleasure I took in watching you cry?"

My throat constricts trapping the words at the base of my throat as I watch his raging figure. More anger fueling an internal flame of despair.

"Don't you think I feel like crap every time I wake up? I have to live with the fact that I will always be the person who ruined your life. Now I'm ruining your life even more because you're far more connected to this than you think and I just couldn't let you read that lett-"

My voice finally comes back to me the moment he mentions the letter. A wave of pain courses through my veins. Pain has become such a large part of me that I need it just as much as the blood that is pumped around my body.

"Letter?" I'm not shouting like I thought I would. My voice is barely even a whisper. He realises his mistake and I almost see the anger diffuse from his eyes; returning back to their original light grey. The smoke that's left after the fire.

"Hazel-"

"You read my letter," the hatred in my voice builds up unintentionally as I continue to see the image of him tearing the letter in front of me.

"You read the only thing that would have told me anything about who I was. The letter you destroyed knowing that I had never opened its contents." a tear stains my cheek as my hands quiver. The pounding of my head and heart now in a monotonous rhythm that continues to get louder and louder consuming all train of thought and leaving nothing but hurt.

"What did it say?" my voice cracks.

He makes no attempt to answer just a blank expression on his face. I storm over to him not caring when I push him backwards, tears coating my eyes luring my vision.

"Tell me what it said."

"I can't."

I try to punch him again but he catches my fist. Holding it in the palm of his hand. I wince not wanting him to be anywhere near me. He is despicable. He read something that was meant only for me something I didn't get the chance to read and he destroyed it.

He destroyed everything. He destroys everything. He destroyed me. He doesn't care.

I try to wrench my hand from his grasp and he eventually loses his grip my hands falling to my sides.

"You can't ever know what was in that letter. It's for your own good,"

Then he walks away without a second glance leaving me to sob hysterically overcome with memories that will haunt me forever.

Note to reader

Hellooooo? So how is everyone?

Sorry if this chapter seems too filler-y but I promise you explanations will come very soon...

Just as a clue...could the letter be connected not just to Hazel?... I have no idea well I do but that doesn't matter at the moment.

Does anyone even remember the letter..? I hope you do or then this chapter is completely pointless...but you should. Pivotal part.

Oh, and do you think Adrian's going to leave Hazel by herself or is he coming back...who knows?

Have an amazing day! Filled with joy and memories to look back in with fondness.

Lavender❤