Secrets Not Lies

Chapter Eighteen - the Date

Phil's eyes glistened as he stared at me from across the table. We'd been waiting for our food to arrive and settled into a comfortable silence, not seeming to be able to take our eyes off each other. Now that I knew I was allowed to take him in with my eyes as I desired, I didn't hesitate to.

"This is a really beautiful place," I said, breaking eye contact to admire our surroundings.

The restaurant we were in was quite fancy, especially for two people who were low on money. I'd asked when he first arrived how he was planning on paying for our dinner but he'd told me not to worry. I couldn't help it though.

He was smiling softly, the most purely content glint to his eyes. "Never mind the restaurant, you're a beautiful person."

Despite the butterflies swarming my stomach and my bashful smile, I answered, "That was too predictable."

"Oh?" he asked in a challenging tone. He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Can you do better?"

I grinned even wider, revealing my dimple. "Of course not. There are too many great things about you to pick just one to compliment."

"That was pretty smooth," he laughed with an approving nod.

Honestly, I wasn't able to think of a moment more perfect than that one. Staring into Phil's gorgeous, ocean blue eyes and showering each other in compliments. I couldn't believe that the most stunning person I'd ever met was taking me out on a date. I also couldn't believe that because of him, I was having no challenge accepting the not straight thoughts that crossed my mind.

I'd never been good at flirting, but I had so much chemistry with Phil that the compliments just rolled off my tongue.

"I don't understand how you were so convinced you were straight," Phil teased suddenly. "I mean, just look at you. Definitely not the straightest person I've ever met."

I rolled my eyes, my smile not leaving my face. "I guess I'm good at lying to myself," I supposed.

"Hmm," Phil said with a dissatisfied expression. "I don't like the idea of lying."

"Keeping secrets from myself?" I offered.

Phil grinned with a hum of agreement. "That sounds better."

"I guess somewhere deep down I always knew I wasn't straight," I admitted, watching as Phil nodded in understanding.

"I was the same way," he told me. "I guess I was always just afraid to be different like that. I always felt like being straight was the norm and I wanted to be normal like everyone else."

His words struck so much truth within me, I realized that he'd vocalized my own thoughts for me. We really were similar in more ways than countable.

"It doesn't make sense," I stated. "Why is straight just the default?"

Phil shrugged. "Maybe people are just afraid of change, and that's the way it's always been."

After nodding in agreement, we fell silent again, the more serious air of the topic drifting away as soon as our eyes locked. He did something to my mind that I couldn't understand. My thoughts were so mottled when I got lost in his eyes and he had more control over me than he knew. I was my weakest around him, but at the same time my strongest.

The waitress came then, snapping us back to reality. She set our plates down and was off after casting us an energetic smile.

We both dug into our meals excitedly. I'd been especially hungry after waiting so long for our food, but I supposed they needed to make it perfect which took time.