Secrets Not Lies

Chapter Twenty-Six - Undisclosed

My first YouTube video ever had gone up only an hour ago, and it was already getting lots of recognition. People in the comments recognized me from not only the video I did with Phil, but also from the short film. Everyone was freaking out about how excited they were that I was starting my own channel.

"How are we going to celebrate?" Phil asked, startling me.

I hadn't noticed him enter the room or loom over my shoulder for a few seconds. My eyes were fixed intently on my computer screen, reading through comments with a large grin plastered on my face. So far, I hadn't even seen any hate.

Tearing my gaze from my computer, my smile only widened as my eyes settled on Phil.

The past few days Phil and I hadn't left the apartment, which I was more than content with. Now that it was out in the open that we loved each other, we showed it off in every way possible. Phil had even woken up early to cook me heart-shaped pancakes one morning.

Phil bent down and planted a tender kiss on my forehead. No matter how many times I felt his lips, it was always like the first—butterflies and everything.

"I don't really want to do anything big," I answered. "Honestly, I just want to stay home forever."

He laughed, rolling his eyes. It was just like me to think like that. But what was the point on leaving the apartment if everything I needed was right in front of me?

"Although..." I started, staring off as I thought. "I would enjoy showing you off to the outside world, you know, brag to everyone that you're mine."

Completely unexpected, Phil's face fell slightly. His smiled faltered as he averted his eyes from mine. 

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that," he told me hesitantly.

I tilted my head curiously, jokingly saying, "Why? Am I not allowed to show off my boyfriend?"

I'd been expecting him to laugh and dismiss his suddenly serious demeanor, but he didn't. I watched, growing slightly concerned, as he began to fiddle with the cuff of his sleeve.

"I already know you aren't going to like this," he told me, which was never a good thing to start with.

"Oh, no," I said, slumping in my chair. We'd gone a few days without problems like Gabe arising, and I sensed another one coming.

I braced for the bad news as Phil's eyes roamed back to mine and he opened his mouth.

"I've been thinking," he stated.

"That's never good," I teased, trying once again to lighten the mood. Like before, it didn't work.

"I don't think we should go public with our relationship."

I allowed a moment of silence to pass as I let his words sink in. Although I did my best to make sense of what he was saying and think of his reasoning, I couldn't.

Even though I knew it couldn't be true, I started feeling self-conscious that maybe he was embarrassed by me. Our relationship was something maybe only I felt proud to be in.

My stomach was sinking even more, the corners of my mouth tipping downward.

Wanting to vocalize my thoughts, I asked, "What do you mean?"

Phil looked like he didn't want to be discussing the topic, as he must've noticed how much I clearly didn't like his idea.

"I mean, I think we should keep it a secret from our fans and the internet," he explained, his tone apologetic. "It might be being overcautious, but I'm worried."