Secrets Not Lies

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Posted

It was done—we were out to the world.

As much as I wished we could go back and stop the video from being uploaded, I knew it wasn't possible. Instead of wasting time wishing things could've turned out differently, Phil and I had to deal with what had happened.

We knew there was no way getting around acknowledging it, but how we did that was for us to decide. Although I was still slightly unsure about what we'd agreed on, I knew it was for the best to address things head-on. Posting an entire video on it might've seemed a little excessive, but we felt there were lots of things to talk about.

Filming the video had been difficult, just as talking about anything personal ever had. I couldn't imagine what it was like for Phil who tended to be someone more secretive than me. He didn't like opening up about a lot of things, so I reminded him we only had to talk about what we were comfortable with.

Phil stood from where he'd been seated on the edge of his bed. He turned the camera off and I watched in silence. I could tell talking about things had been hard for him, but he was strong, I knew that too.

"When are we posting it?" I asked, rising from the bed to follow Phil from his bedroom.

We'd decided to post it on his channel since it was more popular than mine, meaning more people would see it.

I watched his back as he shrugged his shoulders. "Whenever you want," he told me.

In the video, not only had I confirmed that I was bisexual like the leaked video said, but Phil had told people he was too. We'd told our stories of coming to terms with our sexualities, hoping to help others with it. Phil had even managed to talk about his parents, assuring people that if theirs were anything like his, they could get through it. It was honestly inspirational.

Despite telling Phil how much I admired how brave he was, I wondered if he realized how much I truly meant it. I was beyond proud to call him my own.

We wandered into the living room, both grabbing our laptops from the coffee table. I assumed he wanted to start editing since we wanted to get the video up as soon as possible. Before false rumors could start spreading, I wanted people to know the truth.

"This is scary," I admitted as I collapsed onto the couch. Laptop on my legs, I opened the screen, typing in my password.

Phil was silent beside me, not responding. It was then that I sensed something was off with him.

My eyes drifted to Phil, his gaze fixed on his screen. "You okay?" I asked softly.

When he looked at me, I noticed how glossy his eyes were. He was on the brink of tears, and at the realization, I pushed my laptop from my lap so I could twist to face him. I folded my legs in front of me.

Phil's eyes returned to his screen.

"Hey, things will be alright," I assured him. He was always the one to comfort me, so it was my turn to return the favor. "No one is going to judge us."

He sniffled quietly before wiping his nose with his sleeve. Phil was always so strong that seeing him so broken down made my chest ache.

"This was never my plan," he mumbled. His eyes were distant like empty voids when he turned to look at me again.

I reached out, taking his hand. His fingers were limp as I laced them with mine. He looked so distant, all I wanted to do was pull him back from whatever dark place he'd fallen to.

"Things in life never go according to plan," I told him. "If they did, I wouldn't be with you right now. I wouldn't be as happy as I am."

A few months ago, I would've never pictured myself falling in love with a guy. The idea would've probably never crossed my mind, and if it did, chances were I'd repress the thought. Just because what I expected to happen didn't, didn't mean what had happened was a bad thing. I was the happiest I'd ever been.