Issues || Montgomery De La Cruz

Thirty-four

-Renee's pov

"What the fuck was that?" Jess hissed at me as the rest of us stood left in the hall that Monty had just stormed out of.

I pressed my lips together, before staring up to look at the small group stood around me. They all still had looks of shock and horror spread across their faces.

"What?" I shrugged harshly at her.

Jess scowled at me for a few moments, before huffing as she grabbed onto my arm, dragging me away from the group.

"Ouch, what the fuck!"I glared at her,snatching my arm away from my friends uncomfortably tight grip.

"I thought your plan was to try and win Monty back? You just went completely psycho and embarrassed him in front of everyone!" She exclaimed and I pressed my lips together, suddenly feeling my body flood with guilt.

"If you really are trying to get him to chase after you, calling him a no good asshole, isn't the way to do it Ren."

I subtly rolled my eyes, although I knew she was right.

It's not like I didn't feel bad about what I said to Monty, because I really did; but I would be lying if I said it didn't feel good.

To finally let out all the anger, hatred and pain that I had been holding in towards him, felt fucking amazing.

"I know." I sighed in defeat. "It's like I just completely lost control of myself. Like all the hatred towards what he did to me Finally came out." I explained, and Jess's face softened as she realised how genuine I was.

"This isn't you Renee." She whispered in a low tone. "I mean, I know you're doing the whole new 'bad girl' thing, but that doesn't mean you have to be a complete bitch."

I inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled, nodding my head lightly.

I hate to admit it, but she was right.

Although I was still all for the new Renee, the last thing I wanted was to turn into a heartless bitch.

The way I treated Monty earlier, reminded me of how Kennedy treated me at the party the first night I met her.

Even the thought of me speaking to someone in the same way she did to me, triggered an unpleasing sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I'll apologise to him at lunch." I spoke out simply, and Jess nodded her head, as a small satisfied smile curved onto her lips.

-

I took deep nervous breaths as I walked beside Jess, on the way to the cafeteria for lunch.

The whole of first and second period, all I could think about was how I was going to apologise to Monty.

What could I say to him, that wouldn't give away that I was still painfully in love with him.

There was no way I could give him a heartfelt apology, without pouring my whole heart out to him.

But on the other hand, i knew Monty, and a simple 'sorry' would mean fuck all to him.

As the two of us walked into the crowded cafeteria, it felt as if everyone's eyes were glued onto us.

Of course, I knew they weren't. This was just something that happened whenever I got extremely nervous and my social anxiety kicked it.

I always thought everyone was staring at and judging my every move.

The closer we got to our usual, busy lunch table, the more I felt my body begin to clam up into a nervous sweat.

Although it seemed almost ridiculous that I was getting so anxious over a simple apology, knowing that I had to give more than just a 'sorry' was what worried me.