Recovering

Seeing Her Family (2)

"Let's go to the park." I heard Sabrina say when I opened my eyes.

"Good morning to you too." I said sarcastically, stretching.

"Good morning." She smiled softly. I got my phone from her dresser and furrowed my eyebrows after I turned on my phone. "Wait. It's only 3am and the sun hasn't even come up." I said, looking at the clock on my phone.

"I know, but I want to go on a morning walk with you." She said.

"Okay sure. When?" I asked, getting up.

"Now."

I put on my jeans and a black hoodie and put on my boots. Sabrina wore a white tank top, jeans, and her blue Converse as well as her jacket. It's cold today in Pennsylvania.

We left the house quietly so we wouldn't wake anyone up. "It's f-freaking cold o-out here." I said, pulling my hoodie up. "Only a little bit." She said.

"Then you must think that Winter is warm." I joked making her laugh lightly.

"It depends on where you are really." She said. We ended up at a playground and I sat on one of the swings, Sabrina sitting beside me.

"D-do you have any questions for me?" She asked. "About?" I didn't know what she was talking about.

"What my sister said about me and what I almost did." I could tell that she was scared and nervous so I grabbed her hand.

"I don't think that you would be comfortable talking about it. It's not an easy thing to talk about. Truth me, I know." She interlaced our fingers and sighed.

She hesitated for a moment before saying something. "I-i'm really not comfortable talking about it. I thought that I was, but now I don't." She said softly.

"Then don't. We don't have to talk about it if you're not comfortable with it." She nodded slowly.

"Do you think that I shouldn't have hit my sister?"

"I don't think that violence was the correct answer." I said.

"I should apologize. I just got so mad at her for bringing that up and she was being so homophobic. After all that though, she's still my sister." I nodded.

"Everyone is made differently. You don't need to accept it. You just have to respect it." I remembered a quote that I heard while I was in New York.

"That's true." She said and then yawned.

"Tired?" I asked and she nodded.

"A little bit."

"Okay. Let's go back before you fall asleep." I said, but it was a bit too late because she fell asleep on the swing. I laughed lightly and picked her up and carried her back home.

...

This time I woke up before her. The sun was up and I saw that it was 11:00am. I looked at Sabrina and she still sleeping. The sleeping beauty.

The door opened quietly and Shannon peeked her head in the door way. I myself, didn't want to see her after what she said. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.

"Hi." I whispered so I didn't wake Sabrina up. She make this gesture for me to come out so I got out of the bed and followed her to her room.

"Why do you want to talk to me?" I asked.

"I don't understand you." She said slowly.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I don't see why my sister is with you. You're a girl and you're well... you!"

"What do you mean I'm me?" I asked offended.

"You. There are so many problems that she had to deal with because of you." She said.

I put my hand in my head. "I know okay. I'd rather not reminded of it. " I mumbled.

"Don't you ever think that she would be better with someone else? There are plenty of people there for you, but I don't think that you and Sabrina should be together." She said calmly like that didn't hurt my feelings at all.

"In other words, you don't think that I'm good enough for Sabrina. I'm sure if she was with anyone else, you would have no problem with it." I sighed and left her room and went downstairs. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe, maybe...

"I can't be here right now." I said to myself and I just left the house. I went on a walk into the woods, knowing that nobody would be in there but me.

I can't just leave because of this, but I can't be near people right now either. A couple minutes alone should calm me down enough.

I climbed up a tree and sat on a high branch. I let my hair down from the ponytail that it was in, down. "Why do I let people affect us?" I asked myself, letting myself fall into my thoughts.