Recovering

Arguments

Arguments. Something that we never really have. We don't have any fights or anything either. A couple without fights or arguments. Calm and collected. Well that's over now.

Sabrina left my house today and slammed the door. I've seen her that mad before but I never once thought that it would be aimed at me. I was just so angry at her and she was mad at me and it wasn't helping.

What happened you might wonder? Let me explain.

"What the fuck was that, Sabrina?" I asked. At the end of the interview, the camera panned down to Joey and Sabrina kissing.

"Look I didn't know that she was going to do that!" She said, frustratedly.

"How? Didn't you two rehearse it or something?" I asked.

"How would I rehearse a interview? It was live." She said.

"That's not the point. The point is how did you not know that she was going to kiss you?" I asked.

"I'm not exactly an mind-reader. I wasn't aware that I was super women and had telepathy or something." She said sarcastically.

"This isn't funny Sabrina!" I said.

"Could you calm down?! Shit, it's not that fucking bad!" She yelled at me, clearly mad at me too.

"Yes it is okay! I'm sorry if you can't understand that, but it is important and maybe it's not to you but it is to me." I said.

"Joey and I are just friends okay?! That's all we ever will be, friends. Now I'm sorry if you don't understand that she kissed me and not the other way around. I didn't even kiss back. I just pushed her away from me. Clearly you don't know me as well as I thought you did if you think that I would fucking cheat on you. Maybe you don't know me at all." She said angrily. Well that hurt...

I closed my eyes and said, "Get out." She left the house after slamming the door shut.

I'll admit that I probably overreacted. I don't know what was going on in my head at that moment. I just saw them kissing and thinking back on it now I should have let her explain instead of blowing up on her.

I groaned and wiped off the tears that fell down my cheeks to my bed. I couldn't control myself at all in that moment and I did it again. A couple times and when I realized what I was doing I quickly dropped my blade and I was so disappointed in myself. Ive been clean for a couple months and now I'm not anymore.

I put on a hoodie, jeans, and rainboots and went outside. I just can't be in my house, isolated by my thoughts, right now.

I walked several blocks, completely drenched by now, and by now I couldn't tell if it was tears or rain that was dropping from my eyes.

"Y/N!" I heard a male voice say and I turned around. Jake had a concerned look on his face.

"What are you doing in the rain?" He asked and I heard a clap of thunder that made me flinch.

"I-I-I just w-wanted to go on a walk." I said.

"It's 9:00pm and this storm isn't going to let up until the morning. Do you wanna spend the night over here?" He asked.

"N-no. I'm g-good." I said, slightly shivering.

"No you're not. Come on." He said and after a lot of protests, I went in. Corey saw me and had a look of confusion.

"You know Sabrina's looking for you. She's worried about you." He said and I shrugged. "I don't know why seeing-" I started but sneezed.

"Okay. Let's get you out of these wet clothes and into some dry ones." Jake said and I nodded at him, not feeling like talking anymore. I changed into one of Jake's hoodies and put on a pair of shorts.