spotlight // njr

Chapter 23

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The next morning i woke up with my family by my side, they must be worried about me. I have no idea how i got here, but the last thing i remember was when someone found me in my bathroom.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." I know i sounds stupid, of course they won't believe me.

"Why don't you tell us about it?" Thibaut asked. I could see the sadness in his eyes. "You don't have to hide it from us."

"Because she doesn't want me to. I was 10 years old back then and what am i supposed to do after reading that letter? I was mad." I explained.

"We have to look for her," Gerard suggested. What a stupid idea.

"No! This is what she wanted. She doesn't want to be found."

"Juli you have to forgive her," Thibaut said.  I couldn't find a reason why should i forgive her in the first place. "You still can't let her go."

My father interupted. "We'll find her grave and held a funeral for her. She deserve it."

"Papa! I was the one who bear this pain on my shoulders. I should be the one to decide!" I shrieked.

"Juliette, i've read the letter from your mother and she write that she wanted you to not become like her. She wanted you to live your life peacefully. My biggest regret in my life was knowing that i could actually stop her, but i can't. I don't want you to be like her too."

I hate to admit this. I hate to admit the feelings that i have to my mother. I can't forgive her. She wasn't there when everyone was celebrating mother's day, she wasn't there when i had my first heartbreak, she wasn't there when i really need her.

"Why?" I asked. "Why can you forgive her easily like that?"

"Because we can't undo anything happened in the past." Thibaut smiled. "I finally knew that mom was supporting me and i don't have to live in a guilt feeling anymore."

"Juliette it was an accident and you can't blame her for that." Gerard added. "Believe me she's proud of you and Thibaut. She must be smiling from heaven."

I don't have anything to say, maybe i should try to forgive her. They decided to hire some expert to help us find our mother. I hope that i could forgive her sincerely if i could see her for the last time.

"I'm sorry for making all of you come all the way here, just to saw me like this." I muttered. "This is what she did all the time. She scratch her body and asked me to stay silence. I understand why she did this, but i promise i won't ever do this again."

"You're lucky that Neymar was there to found you."

"How did he knew?"

Someone interupt us by coming in with some paper bags on his hands. Neymar just came and this is the first time he meet my family after we dated.

"Hey brother,"Gerard teased him. "My sister huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, old man!"

"You should date the real actor out there like Tom Holland. This amateur actor on field is nothing." I burst out a laughter when Gerard said that. He really likes to mock Neymar's dive action.

"I won't say anything today Ger, wait for my revenge." He chuckled. "By the way, the doctor said that you might go home tonight."

"Thank god, i hate the smell of Hospital."

Later, the nurse came in to change my bandages. They're surprised to see how many scars i've made on my skin. It will take long time to recover, so my doctor suggest me that i should stay at home for a week to avoid an infection.