Her Greatest Salvation -Olivia Benson

Life

(Short sweet little chapter and I promise big things are coming)

16 months later.

Elliot had become a permanent fixture in their lives. She had been hesitant to let him back in, he had hurt her and she was scared that he was going to disappear again. But here she was, getting ready for work in the house that they now shared together.

As much as Amanda insisted that she didn’t mind Olivia and the kids staying there. The apartment was not at all big enough for the 5 of them so Olivia knew it was time to move on. She and Elliot grew closer, after denying what they felt for almost two decades they finally confessed to each other. She was still guarded, taking a long time to let him get close but once he did, there was no going back. He proved that he was dedicated and she loved how he treated Emma and Jasper like they were his own, that made her love him more.

She threw her hair into a ponytail and put her contacts in before making her way out of the bathroom. She stopped at the sight before her. Elliot was flipping pancakes as Emma was sitting on the counter babbling away to him about her favorite tv show.

"Goodmorning you guys" she greeted.

"Morning babe."

"Hmm, I could get used to this" she smiled as she kissed him. She was referring to waking up to him. It had only been a month since they came together as a family but it had been the best month that she had had in a while. It was a slow process, letting him in. her heart had been so guarded because she was scared of him hurting her again. But nothing had happened so far.

"How did you sleep?"

"Pretty good, I had the best pillow."

A loud cry traveled down the hallway, Olivia giggled burying her face in his chest.

"Ok, we really need to work on his timing" she laughed as she headed down the hallway.

"Hi Jasper, Hey buddy, good morning" she greeted entering the nursery. Oh, mommas here she murmured as she picked him up. She reached over, turning the oxygen machine off before laying him back in the crib. She undid the straps and gently pulled the mask over his face as he cried.

"Yeah, you're alright. I know you don’t like this thing, do you?" She cooed. She picked him back up and headed into the bathroom, wiping his face with a wipe to get rid of the dried drool. Heading back to the kitchen, she placed him in his highchair before grabbing him some food.

"Babe, which one are you taking?" Elliot asked her

"Its jaspers day el, Emma went yesterday," Olivia said referring to work. Ever since she had gone back to work a few months ago, she would take one of the kids with her. She still had separation anxiety being away from the kids and this got her through the day and being lieutenant meant she could so this.

"You are a mess" she giggled looking at Jasper who had syrup all over him. Come on, let's get you cleaned up kid and then we gotta get to work. She got him cleaned up and changed before grabbing the diaper bag.

"Have a great day" Elliot said as he kissed her.

"You guys have fun too, I love you both."

"We love you too."

"Emma, come to give momma a hug."

"Bye, mommy!!!"

"Bye pumpkin, be good for El alright?"

Arriving at the precinct she greeted her detectives as she headed to her office. These days her office looked like a playground and it felt more like home. She had an activity cube, ride on scooters and little people play mobiles for Jasper and Coloring books, dolls and books for Emma.

"Ok baby boy, you go and play while mommy works." Olivia smiled as she watched Jasper runoff. She was honestly amazed at how far her son at come. She could still remember the first time she saw him in the incubator and now, besides some breathing issues. He was a healthy almost 2-year-old and she loved him. She wasn’t afraid to admit that anymore.

"Hey, sarge," Amanda said as she walked into the office.

"Amanda, really? I think Liv will do" she smiled.

"Copy that liv, a 22-year-old female. Walking home from work, pulled into an ally by her ex-boyfriend. Raped and beaten."

"Alright, you and Carisi go interview the Vic."

Amanda nodded her head and left the office as Olivia powered up her laptop. She got to work on some DD5s and other work she had fallen slightly behind on. It was around noon that found her sitting on the couch in her office rocking jasper in her arms.

As his eyes fluttered close she laid him down, pressing a kiss to forehead as he settled for his nap. She grabbed her lunch and started eating. She couldn’t help the feeling that she had as she ate, all too quickly she ended up in the bathroom, praising the porcelain gods. She always hated getting sick. She would sweat and shake as tears streamed down her face.

"Oh god," she moaned. She got up and wiped her face before heading back to her office. Her stomach was doing somersaults and she was sweating.

"Fin, I'm going home early. You're in charge."

"Everything ok liv?"

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling so well" she confessed.

"Yeah, you do not look so good either."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks fin!"

"Anytime baby girl."

Olivia headed home with Jasper, dropping the diaper bag by the door.

"Hey, honey, your home early!"

"Yeah, not feeling so great. Here take him" she demanded as she handed Jasper over. She ran into their bathroom, once again emptying everything that was in her stomach. She felt someone rubbing her back.

"Are you alright liv?"

"I think so."

"Come on, ill take care of the kids. You are going to lay down."

"Thank you" she said. Elliot ran her a bath and made sure she was settling before going back to the children. Most of the time it was only Jasper and Emma with them. He had Lizzie and Dickie every other week so it wouldn’t get too overwhelming in the house. The rest of the time they would stay with Kathleen at her house.

His eyes caught glimpse of the small little box that sat on the fireplace. He traced the letters with his finger, a tear rolling down his face. Eli Stabler, it read along with the dates of his birth and death. he remembered how the baby had taken a turn for the worse and just a week before he was due to come home, he passed away. He remembered how liv was with him throughout it all, even sitting with Eli if Elliot needed to get something to eat. They took turns with each other's babies and it made them stronger. He had the comfort of knowing that he was with his mother, where he belonged.