Soon {Zarry}

Twenty-six Thrills

"You can't distract me today. I really want you to answer my questions this time."

"No promises, darling. Why are you sitting all the way over there?"

"I want it to be like when we first met-

"That sounds dreadful. . ."

"Just humor me; it's so I can focus."

"Will you have me call you doctor, too?"

"If you'd like."

"Ha ha, okay, doc."

"I think I like darling better; 'doc' sounds so weird now."

"I find our current situation more weird. But let us continue."

"What are your plans for the city?"

"That's not really a psychoanalytic question."

"And yet it's a question all the same."

". . . I'll only say it once, and only because I'm confident that you won't go anywhere anytime soon. You'll see the more detailed picture once it's aired on the news, but once I return to the city, I'll continue the killings and leave my initials. All of which you already knew, but things won't be quite right. Certain techniques will be off, a mistake that would've never happened if done by Zayn Malik."

". . . a copy cat."

"A copy cat."

"But why draw any attention to the city?"

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

"Why not animals?"

"Hmm, haven't you already asked that?"

"I want a straight answer. Humans are animals, so what? Why target our specific species?"

"Animals don't understand; there's no satisfaction when instinct says it's the natural cycle of life - that an animal dies so another can live. My art would be like everyone else's - horns mounted on a wall, carcasses filled with stuffing, the red on my canvas. Mediocre. But with humans - they know. They know what is happening, whether they want to or not. And the thing is, there are people out there who would want to help my cause. Isn't that more sick than I?"

"It's not a competition or reasonable comparison when it comes to being sick. It is simply sanity and insanity, well and unwell. You being less or more crazy than the next guy doesn't change anything."

"I know, but I thought it'd be easier to distract you from what I said."

"Your principals are fucked. You maintain this blunt, blasè persona but inside, you're tortured and trying to justify your view."

"Try again, doc."

"Then why bother with anything that you do? From day one, you've either changed the subject or got all philosophical with your excuses."

"I'm not sure what you mean by 'philosophical excuses', but I have only tried to be as honest as possible with you. If that meant changing the subject or flat out lying because frankly, you couldn't and still can't handle the truth, then so be it. I did it. If that meant giving you some bullshit answer to tell the police, so be it. I did it. But don't think I go around justifying my views. I know I'm fucked. I know my principals are fucked. I know that more than half of my actions are fucked. So my philosophy, as a result, is fucked, just like every other murderer who has some sick 'philosophy' they follow. But I don't rely on it. I don't blame it."

". . ."

". . ."

"I'm sorry."

"What? You don't have to apologize-"

"No, I do. I started it; I made you mad."

"I can't be angry with you for that. Thinking about me leaves a nasty feeling in your gut. You simply said what was on your mind-"

"Zayn-"

"It's not something I didn't expect or already know."

"Zayn-"

"Really, it's only a matter of time before I ruin you, and you know that. Yet you just let me continue, so there's this resentme-"

"Zayn, shut up!"

". . ."

"Yes, I get a terrible feeling in my stomach when I think about reality and what you do and what you think. I get a headache when I am reminded of who you are. . ."

"Wow, I feel great about myself. Thank you for the compliments, really. This has been such a phenomenal session, doc-"

"Zayn, seriously. Let me finish. But you also should know that I can't resist you. For some odd reason, I let you distract me, like now, and I let you get closer, like this."

"Yes, I get away with many things."

"Mhmm."

"Let me ask you something now, doc."

"Ugh, only if you let go of that ridiculous nickname."

"Haha, alright, darling. When did your obsession with me start?"