Lavender

Prologue

College was always thought to be the most important part of my life. I was regularly reminded of how someone's alma mater forged the rest of their lives. Whether you worked a job and a had a career was crucial, according to my parents. The moment I knew how to wield a pencil and read a page from my bedtime story, I was expected to be the best I could be. I couldn't be the girl that distracted by a boy and lost sight of what was important—my education. I took it seriously and strived not to disappoint my parents. I studied every night, staying in on the weekends when my peers partied and made mistakes, took as many extra-credit assignments I could get my hands on, and joined extracurricular clubs. I did everything I could to graduate at the top of my class and prepare for the university of the dream school my parents wanted me to attend—University of California, one of the most rigorous colleges in the state.

However, I was unaware of what laid beneath the foundations of college. I didn't have a clue what awaited me there... how could I have known, though? I thought college was only about academics and maybe acquiring friends if I had enough time between studying and doing the coursework. I was naïve to the people that weren't just there for education. I expected a simple, quiet roommate who maybe had a boyfriend who was equally as intelligent as her. Not the girl who actually turned out to be outgoing and in love with her girlfriend. It wasn't even them that showed me the unlikely distraction and overwhelming drama, it was a close friend of hers...

A lost boy who invaded my conscious in every way that mattered.

Holden nearly killed me when we first met, and I'm not kidding. From the very start, he aroused trouble for me. Trouble I tried my hardest to stay away from, but I couldn't resist him. I wrote stories of girl meets boy and the whirlwind of their easy and calm love story. Before I knew it, I was in one of my stories, but there was no calm or ease about our story. There was pain and pure passion it overwhelmed me, and it flipped my entire world on its head. I was no longer the girl I was before I met him. If someone were to ask me if I had the chance, would I avoid walking into his chaotic path... I wouldn't know how to answer them. On one hand, he showed me the love I wrote about and then some. He consumed me and made me feel more alive than I had ever felt, more like myself and I loved it. But then again... I dealt through suffering and I became a different girl—a girl I wasn't sure I was proud of.

The only thing I know for sure is that there's not a single part of me left that isn't lost; Holden made sure of that.