Lavender

Chapter Nine

"Can you put on music? I haven't heard Led Zeppelin before," I kindly ask Holden. I have an inkling of a headache, but I'm sure good music could cure the aching behind my eyes. Whenever I couldn't take the screaming at home, I shoved headphones on my ears and drowned out the world around me to the crooning of artists I favored at the time. It still works today with stress and anxiety.

"No," Holden scoffs. My mouth drops open, but I'm not surprised by his brash answer.

"Why not? I thought we made it clear we both liked music."

"Yeah, I thought the same too until you said you haven't listened to Led Zeppelin."

"There's always a first time for everything," I remind him.

His lips curve into a cheeky smile. "The same can't be said for you, now can it...?" At first, I'm confused by what he means, but then the memory of admitting I was a virgin emerges beneath the foggy cloud whirling inside my head and I flush from head to toe.

"Are you going to put on a song or what?" I avoid his mocking gaze and stare at my feet dangling above the ground.

"If I choose to. This is my room after all, and you did wander in here even after I warned you about coming in here. We could just sit in silence for the rest of the night while you hide in here." He shrugs.

"Why don't I do us both a favor and just leave then?" I get up and walk over to the door. I open it but his large hand slams it closed. I turn around and look up into his narrowed brown eyes. Brilliant and furious and bewildering rich brown eyes. I never noticed the crinkle his nose does when he gets mad, but why would he be mad? I thought he didn't want me here when he was being rude just now?

"I never said to leave," he huffs and pulls me back to the bed.

I yank my arm away and sit back down. "Why do you want me to stay?"

"I don't want you to, but where else are you going to go?"

"Back to the dorms. I can take the bus or beg Jay to give me a ride. He can take the girls home after they're all partied out." I kick off my flats before bringing my knees up to my chest. I I laugh at how considerate and polite I am even when I am tipsy. Or am I borderline drunk at this point? The room is spinning in a deliberate circle, but I feel steady enough and I can clearly see the dumbfounded look on Holden's face.

"The people riding the buses now are guys waiting for the perfect naïve girl like you to pounce on and take advantage of, and Jay left the party after a few rounds after you walked out of the game. He had to help take another girl home, and said he was going to another party."

"Oh... does he live here?" I ask curiously.

"Why? Are you interested in him?" If I didn't know any better and weren't seeing two Holden's, I would say he sounds jealous. But I do know him and the thought of two Holden's scares me beyond words.

"No, of course not. I have a boyfriend. His name is Wyatt and he is a very... sweet guy," I say in my defense and clutch the end of my skirt.

"Why did you hesitate?" He sits in the rolling chair behind his desk and stares at me.

"I didn't hesitate." But he raises his eyebrows, so I drop my skirt and add: "Okay, he is also very outgoing and charming, and he smells very nice," I slur, and he laughs. What is so funny now?

"'He smells very nice,'" he repeats in a mocking tone.

"Yes. Compared to him, you smell like the sewer," I lie, forcing my eyes not to glance at the pillow near his foot. The very pillow I hugged to my chest and inhaled his scent as if my life depended on it.