Lavender

Chapter Forty-Six

Holden practically tackles me in a side hug as we're leaving our last class of the day. "So, what do couples normally do after school? The couples in my high school usually went to Applebee's."

"That's a normal thing to do. Are you hungry?" I ask, and he laughs. "What?"

He raises a brow. "They didn't just go for the food on their plate." Noticing my confusion, he laughs again and ducks his head to whisper in my ear, "The empty parking lot in the back was the town hookup spot."

"Gross!" I exclaim as if we didn't do the same things before coming to school.

"Mm-hmm." He nods his head and I wonder if he hooked up with any girls in the back of an Applebee's. Of course he did. I don't mean anything negative by that, I'm just aware he was... very active in school. And I sort of hate the girls he hooked up with, even if it was years ago.

Holden seems to notice my angry thoughts. "Are you jealous, Purple?"

"Why would I be jealous? That was such a long time ago," I scoff, pretending not to care about his past flings.

He raises his eyebrows playfully. "I wouldn't be surprised if you are jealous of those girls. You of all people know of my special... talents."

I gape at his relaxed, smug smirk and speed walk over to the entrance of the school. I cannot believe he would say something like that to me. I thought for sure since we are now a couple he would be less conceited, but I was obviously very wrong.

He catches up to me, grabbing my hand before I could cross the clear intersection. "Would you calm down? I was only joking. You shouldn't worry about those other girls or even a tiny bit jealous. I fucked around in high school and most of my time here in college—yeah. But none of them were you." His voice lowers into a gentle tone, and his amused brown eyes stare directly into mine. "Fucking and making love are two completely different things. The experiences are incomparable." His voice is soft and profound, my heart expands, and I stand on my toes to kiss his cheek.

"Feel better?" He still has that smug look about him, but it's more tolerable.

"Yes," I admit, and he smiles and kisses me back.

Since neither of us had lunch, we decide to eat at a local pizza shop where the slices are huge and delicious. While we eat our many slices of pepperoni pizza, Holden's favorite, he recalls the nights his family and him would go out for pizza on Tuesday nights and then watch a discounted movie at the movie theater. I'm surprised he brought up his family and his childhood without my asking and watch him smile at some parts and frown whenever he mentioned his father.

After lunch, we aimlessly walk down a couple blocks to walk off and process the food we ate and talk about our childhood. While we walk around the cute town, I notice the uneasy looks from strangers, mostly lingering on Holden. I don't get why they are staring until I look over at him, and his tattoos, and the permanent scar on his cheek, and my cashmere cardigan. Shock floods through me at our vast differences in appearance. We look like two halves of two different pictures taped together, but I couldn't care less. I never really think about how wrong we might look to other people because I am too busy fawning over how similar we are in relevant aspects.

The next time we pass a judging elderly lady eyeing our hands swinging between us, I raise our interlocked fingers and kiss the jigsaw tattoo on the inside of his wrist. The woman gasps, eyes widening as if we just robbed a national bank and continues waddling down the street.

"What was that for?" Holden looks at me, ignorant to the unwarranted stares we've been receiving. Or he does know and just doesn't care.

"I love you is all," I say, and he smiles but looks away in an attempt to hide it. But I saw the brightness of his eyes and his dimples indenting in his cheeks. I kiss the back of his hand again and lean against his arm as we walk down the street where my favorite bookstore is located. "Hey, can we stop by the bookstore?"