ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀᴄᴜᴛs [ Langst ]

☥- End My Suffering 1/2 -☥

Lance's P.O.V.

My hand trembled violently as I drew the blade across my tan skin, sucking in a breath of pain. A thin, red line displayed itself infamously on the curve of my forearm, staring back at me menacingly.

     I watched blood bubble out of the cut, gliding down my wrist in large droplets. My bottom lip chattered as tears slid down my cheeks and mixed in with the crimson liquid.

     Dozens of other wounds were scattered along my arms, spreading down in a curve that dipped into my hips.

     I leaned over to my nightstand and opened its draw, grabbing the wash cloth that I left in there. My entire body shook with the slightest movement, jerking with the hiccuping of my sobs.

     My arm stung from the cuts, the pain slowly turning to a numbing static feeling.

     I pressed the cloth onto my arm and stood up, making my way to the bathroom where I washed the blood off.

My vision went in and out of focus as I leaned against the sink counter and covered my arm with the ace wrap. There were barely any bandages left, I had used almost an entire roll in just a week.

     The tears had stopped, leaving only a comforting warmth that glazed over my cheeks. I reached up and wiped my face, taking in a deep breath to calm my nerves.

     A striking pulse had found itself comfortable at my temple, playing a steady beat that pounded against my skull agonizingly.

The faucet squeaked as I turned it on. "Ugh... damn," I groaned, leaning over the sink and splashing cold water onto my face. It felt refreshing, but that change of temperature shocked my senses.

"Paladins, please prepare for breakfast! We will be discussing a new training regiment this morning!" Allura stated, her pitched voice echoing through out the castle and notifying everyone to get ready.

I winced once the announcement was over, the loud coms catching me off guard and nearly making me lose my hearing.

"Alrighty Lance, today's your day. Let's try to not disappoint the only people you care about for once, yeah?" I talked to myself as I got ready, sliding my jeans on followed with my shirt and jacket.

To help loosen up my stern expression, I squeezed and stretched my cheeks. I put on a fake smile for myself and fixed my hair before stumbling out of my bedroom with flaunted confidence.

But that feeling quickly died as my mind explored all the possible situations. The uncomfortable disappointment on my friends faces as I failed for the countless time.

A pit of despair burrowed itself into my stomach, making my hands clammy and eyes glaze over.

I looked up and saw the door to the dining area and picked up the pace, but that was before I realized the person a few meters away from it.

"Oh, Lance." I blinked at the tone in Keith's voice as I walked up to him. The blank expression that inhabited his face almost made me forget my extroverted front.

"Morning. What happened to you? Finally realize that mullet went out of style thirty years ago?" I pursed my lips as I stalked past him and into the dining room. He followed on my heels.

     I didn't get a response from him because the dining room rumbled in greeting. "Good morning! And Lance, for once you're not late! What a surprise!" Allura said the last part with sarcasm, swinging her hips as she swiveled into her seat at the table.

     I made a show of looking insulted, "I always try my best princess." Hunk and Pidge smiled at me, Shiro only giving a glance.

     Keith sat down silently, confusing me but raising no alarms for anyone else. He didn't even flinch at my comment that would normally enrage him.

I slid into my chair and relaxed my shoulders, leaning back against the seat. A plate of space goo was left untouched on the table in front of me. Recently I found that not to be an unusual thing.

Depression had swallowed up any motivation to do anything, even eat. Although I have to give the paladins props for being the most clueless people in the galaxy. No one had noticed, or if they did, they didn't care. And I was more so positive it was the second option.

Everyone hated me anyways, so I wouldn't doubt that they wouldn't care if they knew goof ball Lance was actually a suicidal teenager.

I peered over at Keith, hoping to see him back to himself again. But that wasn't the case. He was curled in on himself with his arms wrapped over his chest in a defensive position. His eyes were staring blankly at his lap and his cheeks were drained of all colour.

"Keith-." I reached for him, but I was cut off as Shiro abruptly stood; catching everyones attention for an announcement.

"As the princess told you earlier there will be a new training regiment." Shiro said. "Basically, she came up with it so don't blame me for this." He sighed in annoyance before clearing his throat.

     "You will be partnered up and switching weapon choices with your partner." Everyone blinked at him. Switching weapons? That's basically asking for trouble.

     I tuned out whatever else he was saying, deeming it useless compared to what else was on my mind. Leaning over, I put a hand on Keith's shoulder to try and get his attention.

     He jumped up, knocking his chair back on the floor and startling everyone in the room. "Keith?" Shiro asked cautiously, confusion hinted in his voice.

     I widened my eyes as I gaped up at Keith and he stared back. He had the most terrified expression I'd ever seen him wear. On instinct I stood up too, but before I could try and say something he had stomped out of the hall.

     My lips curved down in a frown as I fixed my eyes on the door. Splotches of black were covering my vision, I had stood too fast. Every night was sleepless and fulled with nightmares. And when you fix exhaustion with starvation you get a broken human.

     But now it's this.

     My vision wasn't coming back. "Lance, what did you do to Keith!?" Allura asked furiously as she stomped over to me. I put my hands up defensively, but it made me lose balance and hit the table behind me.

     I groaned in pain as I put a hand on my head, it was like the castle was spinning. "I didn't do anything. I was just trying to see if he was okay and he jumped up." I tried explaining myself to her. Shiro was behind Allura with the same annoyed expression.

     "Wait, guys!" Hunk pushed past them, standing in front of me with Pidge peeking out behind him. "Lance, what's wrong?"

Of course being my closest friend he would be able to tell. Damn him...

I couldn't answer as I was only focused on breathing and keeping upright. But it seems as though I could only do one of those. I slid onto the ground and held a hand to my mouth as I took in hot breaths.

"Lance!" Hunk grabbed my shoulders to try and help me up, but I shook him off. I pushed myself up off the ground and rubbed my face.

Allura just looked even more annoyed, but Shiro seemed to start getting concerned. "Trust me, I'm fine. I'm just tired and Keith shocked me. Speaking of which you should probably go after him."

"You're right!" Shiro stumbled out of the dining hall in search of Keith. The others followed, but Hunk and Pidge gave me a worried glance over their shoulder before the door shut.

"So! What did I miss?" Coran suddenly burst in from the kitchen. I turned to him in surprise, holding my chest in shock.

"A lot..." I sighed as I trekked out of the hall and made my way to my room.

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this sucks because its 2am but whATEVER

comment for parT tWo

Total Word Count: 1354