Zephaniah // z.m

Nineteen

Zayn

Saturday rolled around earlier than I would've liked, and me and Zephaniah were busy getting ready for our family day out. I was nervous for some reasons, yet Zephaniah couldn't be more excited, as he couldn't wait to meet Hannah's dog.

I regretted telling him that.

"Daddy, do you t-think the dog is nice?" Zephaniah asked as his eyes sparkled and his fingers played with the waistband of his underwear.

Grabbing my white t-shirt, I slipped it on and tucked it into my denim high waisted trousers, with fake paint splattered all over it. "I don't know, Zeph. Probably, but I'm not sure if Ms. Hannah brings her dog. I told you that."

Zephaniah stared at me, his pink lips slightly parted, "But.. but if he comes then do you think I can p-pet him?"

"I'm sure you can, buddy." I carefully ruffled his hair and held his denim trousers up in front of him as I crouched down. "Step in, Zephy."

My son rested his hands on my shoulders and stepped in, pulling them up himself. "Uhm, and when the dog is there, can the dog play w-ww.." He stopped, "W-ww," Zephaniah frowned sadly as he stuttered, "I mean w-with Boris?"

I pulled Zephaniah's white shirt with yellow lions over his head and softly stroked his cheek with my hand, "It's okay," I said quietly, referring to his stuttering. "I bet he can play with Boris, but again, I'm not sure if grandma is going to bring him."

"Okay," Zephaniah said sadly, being well aware of his stuttering at times. He'd feel sad after that, which made me feel even sadder, because it was more than okay to stutter. He couldn't help it.

I kissed the top of his head softly and grabbed a red and yellow beanie, "Which one do you want to wear today?"

Zephaniah looked up at me and shrugged slowly, "I don't know, daddy. You can choose for m-me?"

"Hm, I think I like the red one for today." I said as I rolled it up to his size and carefully placed it over his bald spot with stitches. "Did you go to the toilet already?"

Zephaniah slowly shook his head, "No, baba."

"Then go before we leave. And don't use too much toilet paper," I told him, causing the young boy to blush as that was something he always did.

He left the toilet door ajar while he did his business as that was weirdly enough something he did at home. He once told me he was scared that when he couldn't hear or see me, that I would be gone.

Of course I had told him over a thousand times that I wouldn't ever leave him, but he still hadn't changed his ritual. Which was the reason why I usually wouldn't comment on it anymore.

"Baba, did you get my swim p-pants?" Zephaniah asked after he washed his hands.

I nodded and grabbed the two bags full of stuff. It was officially autumn, but today was a warm day, which would be around twenty four degrees so we had decided to bring swimwear for the children as we'd picnic at the lake.

The other bag was stuffed full with food. I had promised to get stuff for the salad we'd make for the barbecue we would have on the beach later today.

I sighed deeply, secretly hoping the day would fly over. Don't get me wrong- I loved spending time with my family, it was just that some specific people still hadn't exactly forgiven my situation when he was born seven years ago.

It caused me to feel uncomfortable at times, maybe even nervous and that was a bad thing in my opinion, but I couldn't help it.

Zephaniah wore his black fake slip-on vans as I simply couldn't afford the real ones, and he walked down the stairs, with me following close.