Can A Bad Boy Love? (Jimin x Reader)

• Chapter 23 •

!Warning! There are depressive and suicidal things in this chapter.

~ ~ ~ Jungkook's POV ~ ~ ~

"Hyung, can I talk to Y/N now? I miss her a lot. I don't want her to feel as if we abandoned her. I want to tell her everything," I gently sob.

"Jungkook, please wait. She can't know anything just yet, she probably needs space." Jin assured me as he patted my back.

"No, why do I keep having to hide it from her?!" I yell in anger, "I hate seeing her upset! Who knows what she goes through! It's not all about you and the others, it's about her too! Stop being selfish and think of others!"

"J-Jungkook..." Jin spoke softly nearly breaking down in tears.

"I'm sick of being the bad guy here when I'm not! Just leave me alone, all of you!" I scream in anger before running out the front door with tears rolling down my cheek.

Why did I do that? Why did I say that? I'm so stupid and pathetic.

I roughly rip my hair out of my head.

My legs were still running, they're bringing me to some abandoned place. I couldn't really care though.

As my legs begin to slow down I notice cold water gently hit my body.

It's raining, just great.

"Wow, what a nice day. God is now pitying me. hah" I fake smile as I walk around the abandoned place.

I can't believe I made such a fool of myself I called Jin selfish and the others too. I feel so bad.

Why is it always me that deals with this stuff? Why am I always put in this rough situation? Why do I ruin things and everyone's life?

My gentle sobs echo out through the whole abandoned building.

They slowly get louder and louder as more negative thoughts pound throughout my head.

"Go away... go away... go away!" I scream.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! WHY CAN'T I EVER THINK OF POSITIVE THINGS? WHY IS IT ALWAYS NEGATIVE?! WHY DO I FEEL SO USELESS?" I let out all my anger.

I see objects and furniture so of course, you know what I'll do.

I smash everything and throw them around.

The sound of furniture, my cries and screams fill the building.

I feel as if I'm trapped and no one is here to save.

I slowly walk to a window and notice all the sharp glass scattered on the floor near it.

I bend down and pick up a sharp piece of glass.

I smile sadly and slowly roll up my sleeves.

"Sorry it ends might end this way... I'm sorry for ruining everyones lives, I'm sorry for wasting peoples time. I'm sorry for even existing. Thanks for the short opportunity to be here, Mum and Dad. I love you Y/N, Mum, Dad and everyone around you....." I softly whisper, "Mianhe..."

I grab the sharp piece of glass and slowly dig it into my soft, pale and sensitive skin.

I wince in pain but slowly get used to it.

Tears slowly stream down my face and a sad smile appears across my lips.

"Mianhe, Mianhe... Mianhe..."

I drop the piece of glass as it falls down and hits the floor with a small thud.

Tears are now pouring out of my eyes non-stop. As they fall onto the floor I question myself more.

Why are you alive?

Why did you try?

Why do you think they love you?

Why do you think you have a reason to be here?

I slowly sit down on the floor and ponder about my useless existence.

You're pathetic.

No one loves you.

You should just die.

No one would care.

You're invisible.

I.

Hate.

You.

I slowly feel my eyelids fall.

Is this the end? Am I truly leaving? Who will care? Will anyone care?

As if they would anyways.

I'm useless.