Fanatic (G/T)

11: Recalled

POV: Kevin Cunningham

2006

"Hiya! I'm Hailey. What's your name?"

I sit in awe at the person before me. "K-Kevin," I stutter out. Oh my god, I'm so big. I'm too big. I can't let her think I'm as bulky and out of place as I am.

"Are you doing okay? You're allowed to hold me if you want. I'm not bothered by motion sickness anymore."

I panic, laying down a hand slowly. What if I drop her? Oh fuck, I'd be gone. I'd be painted as who I am, nothing but a giant monster. I don't want anyone to think of me like that. I've never seen a human before, let alone picked up one. I watch her small form get on. "You've got really big hands," she mentions, and I tense up.

"Thanks, you don't." I say absentmindedly, and she laughs at my accidental joke. I lift up my hand slowly and look at her. She's honestly breathtaking. What an amazing creature sitting here. 

I search her eyes for fear. There's none. She trusts me and knows I would never want to hurt her. I like that. Taking a deep breath, I ask her, "Do you... maybe... wanna go out somewhere?"

2007

"Whatcha workin' on?" Hailey hops out of my shirt pocket, slides down my stomach and onto my thigh with ease. She tightens her small blonde ponytail.

"Music stuff..." a smile creeps up on my face. "Just... an album." I look down and see her eyes light up.

"No way! When's it coming out?"

"Not sure, I'm only 17 anyway, it'll probably be a while. I'm in the beginning stages."

"That's still amazing babe. I love you so much, I hope this goes okay."

"Love you too," I sigh. "and me too. Do you promise to help me out if I fuck up anything along the way?"

"You carry the lyrics, I'll ride the tune."

2008

"I don't want you to be scared, and you know that, but I also want you to know how I feel and I'm just really bad at staying calm about this," I take deep breaths to stay calm. Hailey's never felt  fear of me, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"We still have a lot going for us. I just need... space I guess. I'm a little overwhelmed, I have to apply for colleges and take exams like you, and I guess a relationship is taking up too much time. I know you understand since you're great like that but for this semester, I think I'm better off going solo."

"I wrote... a song or two about you." I look down.

"That's... an honor, Kevin. Really, it is, but I can't let myself get to you during this period. Stick with the song though, I bet it's as amazing as you." My eyes shift up and down and in every direction for a second. I feel my hands clench and unclench. Then I do something... very very stupid.

Removed from the countertop is a screaming Hailey. She writhes in my tight fist, barely being able to move. "Listen, you bitch. You promised you'd stay with me through all of this. I'm still not even done writing this album, and I surely fucking hope this won't be my only one. Don't you understand what a useless whore you are for leaving me at a time like this?"

"Kev-vin...!" she chokes out, but I crush tighter.

"You showed nothing but love, and here you are now. I don't want to hear any damn excuses for you leaving. You made a promise, and broke it. That broke me."

"And... you're break-eaking... me..." she teaches a small hand out, which I refuse to acknowledge.

"Am I now? Is this scaring you Hailey? Does this make you shiver with fear? Were you just expecting your cute friendly giant boyfriend to sit still through you ruining what we had? Well, were you?" I try to lift her chin up to look me in the eyes. She refuses to open them.

Is she fucking around with me? I loosen my grip. She flops onto my palm. I can't feel a pulse, not that I'd be able to anyway, my fingers are too big. I hold her up against my ear. Nothing. Oh no... how hard was I holding her?

"Hailey?" I ask. No response from the small lifeform. "H...Hailey." Nothing. I begin to shake.

What do I do now? My eyes shift to the hardwood floor. A board sticks up a little bit.