Mending a Broken Heart

Chapter 29

Buddy

Melody's POV

Early October

For the first time in a long time, I don't feel numb. I'm not sure what changed... maybe it was the fact that I started talking to people. Or maybe it's because I'm no longer locked up in my room - not that I've left the house yet. I've been roaming the apartment, no longer afraid of running into my dad.

My mom and Allan called the other day. Allan gave me an earful; whereas, my mom was walking on thin ice when talking to me. I felt terrible. I don't think the guilt will ever go away. The conversation with them was similar to my dad's. I'm upset with them and they're upset with me. We're deciding to start anew and to not lie, no matter what the scenario is. They want to come visit but their schedules at work are preventing them from coming.

Currently I'm sprawled in my bed going through all the paperwork from school. I sighed. I don't know what I'm going to do. This is stressing me out. I have so much to do, I missed time off from school and I need to go back to work - that's if I still have the job. Just then my phone started vibrating causing my heart to go in a frenzy.

I hate myself for wanting the caller to be Chris. I know it's not going to be him. He hasn't tried calling me and it's breaking my heart. I'm trying to stay strong but I can't help it. He and Micah had every part of me.

I checked my phone - Jess. I sighed disappointed. Does he even care? Maybe he decided to stay with Bethany. There was a pang to my chest at the thought.

"Hey." I answered.

"Hey, I'm just getting off work. They've been asking about you. I told Rae you'd probably be calling her sometime soon. You can work with me!" She said enthusiastically. I smiled sadly, seeing as I haven't finished school I can only sub or assist a teacher.

"Sounds good. I'll probably give her a call this week." Our boss Rae is great. She's very understanding and helpful. The school is lucky to have her.

"What are you up to right now?" She asked.

"I'm going through paperwork from school. I need to go and talk with a counselor." I mentioned.

"I can go with you." She offered.

"No it's ok. I'll be going in tomorrow morning. Hopefully they're not too busy and they'll take a walk-in." I said.

"Right, well... you can always ask Daniel's uncle." She said. I shut my eyes wishing the ache would just go away. Luke, Chris' dad.

"I'd rather not." I said. "Anyways, I've got to go. Ima cook dinner." I said wanting to end the conversation. I heard Jess sigh.

"Alriiiiight, I'll talk to you later." She said.

"Bye." I said and hung up. I threw myself back, having the air knocked out of me.

I want to talk to Chris but at the same time I don't want anything to do with him. I'm so confused. I shook my head and got up.

I don't have to deal with him yet. Right now... I need to learn how to live without him.
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Great. I got here late. There's a line. This is going to take forever. By the time a counselor sees me it's going to be lunchtime.

  For a walk-in one must first make line to check in, afterwards the students have to wait on the side to be called by a counselor who's available. 

30 minutes later and there's only three students left in front of me. It isn't too bad - shit, spoke too soon. Two of the three ladies that were checking us in left!  Maybe I should just call and make an appointment. Walk-ins are not a good idea. I just really wanted to get this over with. I've already wasted a lot of time here. I could have gone to the elementary school instead to talk to Rae.