Kenn's Book Of Poems

Burning in the Fumes

I feel lost and empty,

broken and torn to the point you can't see me.

But I put on the plastered smiles and the fake laughs,

and the long sleeved shirts covering my arms are forced to match.

There's those messages on every locker at every turn,

Those ones that are supposed to help stop the comments that leave a burn.

Of course, I have mine for a little while,

But someone takes it to add to their own pile.

I can't take it,

my mind is full and the cave is closing in.

I need someone to help,

I need someone to care.

I'm alone in this fight,

I'm alone in the night.

I'm alone in the room,
A

nd it leaves me burning in the fumes.

I've dealt with death so many times,

so many to the point that it's become all fine.

I'm numb and all your compliments bounce off of me,
a

nd all you can see is the broken frame of a child who used to be.

My own view of myself is so low,

and my life keeps going much more slow.

I can't reach the bar that I keep setting for myself higher and higher,
s

o I'll succumb and just let myself fade into the fire.

You don't understand what goes on behind my eyes,

you don't hear the pained and strained cries.

I'm completely burned out from the inside,

and the flames have started to lick the wider outside.

I don't see myself as smart or particularly talented,

I don't see myself as popular or skinny and browned.

I'm the fatter nerd that's in a typical story,

And I just feel like everybody secretly hates me.

I'm just burning all my feelings for anything I have to know,

And my own shadow is what I have left to call my home.

I'm sorry that it had to end in a ball of orange and red,

but you will never understand how I burned what I wanted to have said.