Kenn's Book Of Poems

What Happened?

I used to be so happy,
such a sweet an innocent child.
I loved myself and who I was,
but, what happened to that kid?
That kid that was so sweet and kind?

The kid's father left her and mom alone at age 5,
Leaving her wondering, what did I do wrong?
"Why did you leave daddy?"
"Mommy, where'd daddy go?"
Those questions were frequently heard from her lips.

She grew to late elementary, where she got the news.
Surprise kid, it's your first death of a close loved one.
Be ready for more each year, even if it's not actual death.
Her dad came back in to help her feel reassured at the funeral,
Meeting her brother and seeing her sister again.
The father left again the following year,
leaving behind a broken 12 year old.
This kid never could get a break,
never knew full sadness,
not until that day when her life mirror cracked.

Middle school, welcome to what will break your heart.
The girl stays away from others, afraid to trust.
She goes home and does things she's not proud of.
Little red dots line across the wrists where a blade sat,
Salty tears mixing in too due to even more bad news.
Her grandfather that she loved so dearly,
Who loved her how a father would, was now gone.
Taken from her like a child's toy.
She cried and cried until no more tears came,
cleaning up her mess before people could see.
Long sleeves were her new best friend, along with music,
Since she didn't want to bother other people.
A mask was put on, tightly too.
Nobody could see that horrible horrible pain.
8th grade, she made another A honor roll.
But she doesn't like herself anymore.
Why don't we throw in a small eating disorder?
Mix in anxiety too, make her mask fall off.
But guess what? Her mind succeeded.
She took pills in the night but it didn't work.
"Enough!" She thought, "My life, not yours."
She finally spoke up and got help.
But her first relationship?
Abusive. Mentally too. She just can't catch a break.
Anymore, she doesn't cry. She feels nothing.
But for some reason, she kept going.

High School. "This is my year now.
My great grandmother passed away, but it isn't getting me down."
The girl went through so much in four years,
but she finally took life by the neck.
Injuries happen, you'll put your dancing shoes back on,
But another breakup on top of it?
She almost relapsed.
"It'll be okay." She kept saying.
And she still hopes it does.

So, what happened to that girl?
She's talking to you now.
Yeah It's my sad life story,
but life will never be perfect.
What happened to me?
Well, it's a long story.