It went on for days, and now it had been totally a week since the last day Mark had seen Jinyoung.
He missed Jinyoung, terribly; the desire to see the younger, even if it be for a short moment, was slowly killing him inside.
Every single day, he was always outside Jinyoung's apartment in the evening, to have some glimpse of Jinyoung or to try more words that begged for his forgiveness.
But Jinyoung had never opened the door for him. Some alone time Jinyoung had asked, but Mark had never thought it would be for days.
Mark took a look at the watch as he got out of the elevator. It was twenty minutes past the office-time. Being late had never been a habbit of him. But these days, that amount of time past the office-time when he arrived at work, was no more a surprising fact.
"I saw him this morning and even greeted him."
"What happened to him? He was absent this whole week. He is never that kind of man as far as I know."
Mark stopped short on his spot as he heard those words of the two workers from the marketing team, who were walking ahead of him.
Who they were talking about, could be no other than Jinyoung. If they were right, then Jinyoung was here now, or at least had been here this morning.
Mark felt his heart beating fast and a wave of emotions rushed in. Still he hurried to his office room. Jinyoung might be there, that was all he could think about.
Opening the door, he saw Jinyoung quietly sitting in front of the table, his back facing the door.
As if Jinyoung could vanish at any moment, Mark hastened towards him and locked his arms around Jinyoung's shoulders.
"Jinyoung, I've missed you," Mark whispered in Jinyoung's ear and nuzzled his face against Jinyoung's.
The first thing Jinyoung felt when Mark's face touched his, was the slight sting on his cheek, left by Mark's stubble.
Slowly he removed Mark's hands from his body and saw Mark moving to the front so that he could face Jinyoung.
No matter how hard he had encouraged himself that he would not feel anything when he met Mark, but his heart sank at the sight of the latter's unshaven face, with the hair no longer as neat as before, and his thinner body.
Mark also ran his eyes over Jinyoung from head to toe, and it was the first time he noticed that Jinyoung was just in a sweater, not the company outfit.
"Jinyoung," Mark uttered. He did not know how to take this situation, Jinyoung's eyes reflected affection a moment but turned cold another moment.
Later Jinyoung placed the thin file folder, which had been on his lap, on the table, and Mark's eyes followed it.
"What's it?"
Looking into Mark's eyes, Jinyoung said quietly, "I'm handing in the resignation."
"What?"
"My resignation."
"What do you mean, Jinyoung? No, you don't. I won't accept it."
That was just the exact reaction Jinyoung had expected, but he was not going to change his mind.
"That is the best solution I could think of, Mark. I'll never be able to work the same as before, especially in one room with you, knowing that there is a terrible crack between us."
Mark shook his head, "That's not the best solution, Jinyoung, you're driving us further away."
"That's what I intend to."
Mark looked at him with disbelief in his eyes and Jinyoung averted his eyes from Mark quickly.
"Why? Does it need to be to that extend? You don't mean all of this, do you?"
"I mean every single word, Mark. What else do you expect? I want everything to end between us. Do you want me to drown in the endless thoughts day and night, whether the fact would become clear that you didn't do anything with her? It's slowly eating me alive, Mark. I want to free myself from all of this."
Mark was lost for words, and Jinyoung continued, "And look at you, what's happening? Please stop yearning for me, it's not doing you any good. Forget me."
Mark wanted to laugh at those words. 'Forget'? How could Jinyoung say that word so indifferently?
"It's easy for you, Jinyoung, but not for me. Did you not love me at all? Am I the only one who's suffering?"
"Think what you want."
"Lie. You love me, you do. Are you letting her separate us just like that? We're both broken, Jinyoung."
Jinyoung stood up and turned around to leave, but Mark gripped his hand to stop him.
"If this is what you want - what you really want, I-I'll accept this."
That was what he really wanted, wasn't it? Jinyoung asked himself.
"Goodbye, Mark," Jinyoung uttered and removed Mark's hand from his.
Heading for the door and letting his stiff self loosen up, he didn't stop drops of tears racing down.
'You're so stubborn sometimes,' Mark had said to him. Yes, he was, Jinyoung admitted. The last conversation he had had with Mark and the last image of Mark he had seen, were still daunting him. Even after a week.
He had told Mark to stop longing for him, but look at himself, his neglected, stubbly face, and his messy hair, dry, untidy and longer than he would have wanted.
For days he had locked himself indoors, and he still had no desire to go out any soon.
He was looking at his depressing self reflected in the mirror, when his phone rang, showing an unknown contact.
He had no intention to take the call, but the calls continued to his irritation, and until he gave in to answering it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Park Jinyoung-shi?"
It was a man's voice but Jinyoung had no idea who it was.
"Yes? Could I know who you are?"
"Jinyoung-shi, you don't know me. I'm Gayoon's brother. If you could spare some time, I want to have some words with you."
Jinyoung was hesistant but Gayoon's brother continued nonetheless.
"I'd like to apologise to you on behalf of my sister. I already talked with Mark, and also apologised to him, yesterday."
"What are you talking about?"
"Ah, before I explain, I'd like to ask you to believe what I'm going to tell you. Because it's all true."
Jinyoung encouraged himself that it couldn't be any worse, and he had already imagined the worst.
"Go ahead."
"Well, I'll explain in detail..."
The rest of his words, Jinyoung listened to them with the mixed emotions, with relief and at the same time, with regret that he had caused Mark all the suffering for no reason at all.
He felt really grateful to Gayoon's brother for clearing his doubts, helping him get out of his own delusions and making him realise his mistakes.
