Mine | Jaeyong

Chapter 05

Jaehyun's face was as pale as ever.
He moved backwards, his eyes wide. 'S-n-no you're n-not.' He stuttered in a hypocritical mumble.

'I am...' Taeyong looked down to the floor and fiddled with his fingers.

Jaehyun had rubbed his forehead painfully. 'G-gosh, wow.' He was upset, because Taeyong wasn't like the stereotypical gay person his family had shown to him. He couldn't understand it.

He was about to cry actually. Until his own urge to cry was replaced by Taeyong's. He cried instead, the hot thick tears ran down his face and left a salty taste upon his lips. His cheeks glistened with the sudden liquid leaking from his eyes, and that's when Jaehyun knew it, his heart swelled at his chest, he just knew it but was too afraid to say it.

Until, he remembered what the priest had told him: God bless you, for he is all loving.

Jaehyun hesitated, facing his fear by wrapping his arm around Taeyong. 'God, he doesn't hate you. If he does exist.' Jaehyun gulped, rolling in his head: It's the same Taeyong. He never changed, he's not what mother and father said. He's just Taeyong, and Taeyong is-

Taeyong looked up. 'Jae...' He inhaled the tears back. 'I thought you didn't like...'

Jaehyun turned his head. 'What, gays? Well that's before now isn't it...?' He made a small chuckle, but then Taeyong quickly hugged Jaehyun. 'I'm happy! You're all I've got Jae.'

'And Carlos too.' Jaehyun added.

Taeyong nodded. 'And Carlos... But he's not my brother.'

Jaehyun patted Taeyong's back gently. 'I guess so.' Jaehyun started to feel a little sympathetic for Taeyong for the first time, it was true and finally Jaehyun had realised. Taeyong had nobody but him, both of his grandparents only had one child and his parents only had one too, but then Taeyong's biological family were all deceased, except for him. Jaehyun was the only one he had, even though they were definitely not related by any means. 'I'm sorry.'

'For what?' Taeyong had laid his head on Jaehyuns shoulder, which Jaehyun tried to get used to and remind himself that gay was okay.

'For all the anti-lgbtq+ things I have ever said.' He sighed. 'I regret it, and I don't want to say any more mean things about it. Because I was wrong, and you are right. You had to sit there and listen to me degrade them and you and...' myself. 'Because I-' was jealous and scared. 'I- never understood it.' Because I never knew that I was just like you, but I was jealous because those people had freedom but I don't. I just want to be the perfect son and make my parents proud. Jaehyun wanted to say what he thought, but he struggled and knew he could never say it.

Taeyong bit his lip. 'You didn't even make much sense...' He frowned, but that was because Jaehyun was scared to say what he wanted to.

Jaehyun nodded, slowly.

After that the two of them had climbed out of the tree house and out of the forest, without a word. Just peace and quiet and both of them smiling at the low hum of the owl in the tall oak tree and swift breeze making the leaves rustle in a tune.

Jaehyun walked close to Taeyong, their hands were so close he just wanted to touch Taeyong's soft hand, he resisted against the urge. He was scared of himself again, although he had lost homophobia to other people due to Taeyong... he had still had it within himself for himself only. Taeyong accidentally bumped into Jaehyun after trying to dodge a thorny rose bush, and Tae laughed nervously. Except Jaehyun, who gulped and looked down at the stoney pathway, away from all of the mud.

His slippers were completely ruined, but he could easily just bin them and get new one's in this lifestyle. He then saw a gap in the rose bush, he had that urge again. The homosexual urge. He felt like pushing Taeyong into that gap and kissing him, he shook his head, approaching it beside Taeyong. He was confused by his sudden demeanor to do all these things, but maybe because he knew Taeyong had those feelings like him, but he didn't know if Taeyong had the feelings for him.

As they walked past the bush, he did it. He pushed Taeyong into the gap, both shocked. Taeyong shocked by Jaehyun covering the means of escape that Taeyong had by holding his arms up like a barrier and starring at Taeyong. And Jaehyun because he was certain he wasn't going to do it. He backed away. 'T-there's a bug in your hair.'

Taeyong was blushing until Jaehyun had spoke. 'WHAT? WHERE?! GET IT OUT!' He squeeled and panicked. Jaehyun pretended to swat at Taeyong's hair and quickly walked off.

Taeyong was confused, he didn't move, he just felt his heart drumming fast. He gulped, Jaehyun really did that. That was only something that would happen in Taeyong's dreams, he smiled widely without knowing. He just rubbed his head where the hair that Jae swatted at was and stroked it gently.

He giggled and quickly caught up with Jaehyun. 'Thank you!' He told Jaehyun, taking his muddy slippers off with Jaehyun as they reached the patio.

Jaehyun looked down wearily.
'Yup, lucky I got it out. It was a massive spider!' He lied, but it turned into quick noticible joking fast.

Taeyong giggled once again and stepped into the house along with Jaehyun.
They both walked back up the staircase, acrosthe hallway and to the end of it where their rooms were. Jaehyun waved.

'Sweet dreams, we have school in two hours!' He quickly shut the door in Taeyong's face. Taeyong stood in amazement, what a crazy night...

He took his uniform off and walked into his bathroom to take a shower with a fresh set of school uniform, it wasn't worth wearing pajama's at this point, early in the morning.

After he showered he felt more awake, getting changed into the new uniform. The previous one was dirty and unclean from all the adventures he had in one day. He walked out of the bathroom, he had put on his pink bunny slippers (which didn't have mud on them) and he walked about the room. Wondering how he could waste one hour and thrity minutes of his time before he was supposed to wake up.

He walked over to the bookshelf, dragging 'Peter Pan' from the shelf with a childish look on his face, after being in the tree-house he had a sudden urge to read books from his late childhood (pre-teen years, aged 9 to 11) because they just looked so beautiful. He had wondered, Neverland would be such a perfect place to live in, with Jaehyun...

Just the two of them, no-one would ever be able to tear them apart and maybe being gay wouldn't be as bad. Maybe even Jaehyun would be too?

But then again, Neverland was a place of any child's dreams: no rules, fighting pirates, mermaids, fairies, being heroes, no aging, no parents... no parents, maybe he didn't quite like Neverland after all.

After reading the page that made him realise this, he lowered the book and shut it tightly to a close in a sadness.

He could see the sun seep through the long draped curtains that touched the floor. He stood up, pulling it open. The balcony, it had a padlock on it. Taeyong sighed, tugging at it. But he knew the code Jaehyun had for his locker, and began entering and twisting the digits until he got the number; it clicked. He smiled, pulling it off gently, opening the doors.

A sudden rush of winter cold air hit his face, he smiled and stepped out. He held the book in his hands, looking from it to the beautiful rising sun, which clouds sat decorating it. The orange, blue and pink tinges in the sky made him sigh in a reluctant tone. It made being early in the morning, worth it. The tree's made a crisp black outline beside the sun and so he thought, this would be beautiful to paint.