Mine | Jaeyong

Chapter 35

Taeyong couldn't eat, the sandwich on his plate was just like an object to him. In fact, food seemed to have cast a spell of sickness over him. He just felt like he'd throw up the more he looked at it.

Moira, Jisung's mother told him to eat because she was starting to worry more and more about the boy's health, within the 4 days of school mornings he ate nothing. His stomach begged him to eat but his head told him the opposite, but the other half of him kept reminded him of when Jaehyun told him constantly: 'You need to eat more, I don't want to accidentally break you.'

That's probably why he couldn't eat, even food reminded him of everything.

He had latched himself so much onto Jaehyun, and for him to just do that to him, God it hurt.

In his mind he told Jaehyun, you already did.

So was there even a point in eating now? Even though Chittapon shoved bread down his neck at school, that was what he was living off of, was it worth it?

Was it, worth it?

When he stared at himself in the mirror with no shirt on, it was just as painful, there were leftover hickeys from days ago that were gradually fading... How could Jaehyun just do that? It was selfish, it was so horrible to handle. As well for his scarred arms, they reminded him of the depression that had intoxicated him when he was fourteen, he shut his eyes to a tight shut. The depression, it came back. When he opened his eyes again that were sore from lack of sleep, nightmares left him sleepless and he had to be put on medication again... But when He opened his eyes, he could see him, in the corner of the room that he shared with Jisung, but only through the mirror. It was like he was looking into The Mirror of Erised from Harry Potter. They say the mirror shows you what you want, was that the writer's foreshadowing? No, he thought. He was just getting delusional from all of these nightmares.

Because Jaehyun just stood there in the corner of the mirror, looking at him. 'What's wrong with you?' Taeyong told the ghost. 'Stop looking at me, go away. Leave my mind!'

Perhaps he was starting to get schizophrenic. No. He was going insane.

'Taeyong I have to go, see you later, -k?' Jaehyun shouted past the door of Taeyong's room.

Taeyong looked up. 'Y-ok. Bye...' He heard the footsteps of Jaehyun leaving. He suddenly felt so empty. He decided not to tell Jaehyun that the kid's at school in the older class were picking on him, kicking and punching him whenever there were breaks between classes, he began running to class then, trying to find Jaehyun because the bullies would just go away then. Because they knew Jaehyun's power, they would suddenly grow fearful. But that didn't stop them from hurting Taeyong whenever they could get the chance, whenever Taeyong was alone.

He had locked his bedroom door.

If anyone... Carlos, Jaehyun... saw the blood running down his arms, what would they do? But it was the pain Taeyong craved, suddenly making himself feel worthless became a habit, he wanted to be in pain because he knew what kind of - thing - he was.

He was gay.

Jaehyun couldn't support him, not with all that homophobic bullshit he came out with. He was always hesitant when he said it though, which made Taeyong wonder if he knew.

There was a desolate feeling behind it all.

Especially when Jaehyun had demanded him to hug him constantly.

Taeyong walked out of the bedroom with an expression showing he was taken aback. There was daisy sitting at the table, holding her crayons in her hands and looking at Taeyong with a pleasant yet excited face before drawing again. Something sparked in Taeyong's low spirit. He didn't realise he was smiling.

He hadn't smiled for a while.

'Taeyongie~' She smiled, holding up the drawing for Taeyong to see. 'Look it's you with your friend!'

Taeyong's smile faded from his face and was replaced with a white-as-a-sheet face and sorrow. The dispirited self of him stumbled back a little. 'He won't leave like he said...'

Jisung walked out of the bathroom and saw the picture and realised what had occurred. 'Daisy!' He quickly grabbed the picture and sighed, he didn't want to throw it away because it would break poor little Daisy's heart but it would break Taeyong's heart to keep it. He was torn between both of his siblings.

Life was like that for Taeyong, even as he stumbled through the corridoors of the school, he had lost it. Himself. He looked like his soul escaped his body. A dead man walking, that's what he was. He looked drunk in emotionless feelings.

He wanted to know how to get better.

His mind just wouldn't let him.

He lost a best friend, a brother, a lover and a soulmate