Solace {A Game of Thrones Fanfiction}

Chapter 49

Theon could feel his heart beating out of his chest as he made his way to the throne room. He was just afraid of what Jon might say to him. 

As he walked into the throne room, Davos and Jon were walking out. 

"Jon." Theon called out to him. 

The pair both turned to look at him, "Can I speak with you?"

At first, Jon didn't say anything. Theon was scared he would say no. 

"All right." He finally let out. Davos turned to exit the throne room. 

Theon walked down the step towards him, "What you did in King's Landing, what you said..."

"You could have lied to Cersei about bending the knee to Daenerys." Theon continued down a few more steps, even though Jon looked at him coldly, "You risked everything to tell an enemy the truth."

"We went down there to make peace and it seems to me we need to be honest with each other if we're going to fight together." Jon was so sure in his words. 

Theon stood there for a moment, "You've always known what was right." It was true. It was something Theon desperately wished he had. 

"Even when we were all young and stupid, you always knew. Every step you take, it's always the right step." Theon replied. 

"It's not." Jon said bluntly, "It may seem that way from the outside but I promise you, it's not true." In a way, it comforted Theon but he didn't know what to say in response. 

"I've done plenty of things I regret." Jon continued. 

"Not compared to me you haven't."

"No," Jon was still cold, "Not compared to you."

Theon looked to the stone floor. He wasn't quite sure what he should say. He knew from Jon's voice that he still held resentment against him. Theon didn't blame him. 

He took the last few steps down to be on the same level as Jon, "I've always wanted to do the right thing." The cold echoes filled the dark throne room.

"Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant." Theon didn't look at Jon. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to see his reaction. "It always seemed like there's..." 

Finally admitting it was wrenching on Theon's heart. A pit in his throat grew as he felt like he could cry from saying everything out loud. He swallowed the pit in his throat. 

"Like there was an impossible choice I had to make." Theon finally forced himself to met Jon's eyes, "Stark or Greyjoy."

Jon took two fast steps toward him. Theon could feel his intensity, "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was."

"He was." Theon admitted.

Jon skipped over his response, "And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory."

Theon hated to hear the words in the air but he knew it was true, "I did."

Theon could tell that Jon was reining in his anger. He let out a short sigh, "But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me."

Theon didn't know if he could believe it. Jon had way more of Ned in him then Theon did. 

"But the things I've done..."

"It's not my place to forgive you for all of it. But what I can forgive, I do." It felt good for Theon to hear it from Jon. Part of the weight of his shoulders felt like it had been lifted.