the lives of butterflies

year 5 - instincts (winter pt.2)

I am still wearing Master's sweater when we travel to the bookshop. Most of the paths are clear and flattened from magic, while the rest of the snow covers the rest of the sleeping earth. I watch Master, bundled in boots, scarf, hat, coat, his mittened hands stuffed deep in his pockets. Halfway to the village, we climb into the horses' wagon and ride the rest of the way there.

It takes longer than usual for Jacob to answer. When he opens the door, I notice shadows and slight wrinkles under his eyes, like he didn't sleep well last night. But he smiles to each of us and leads us in. We settle around the same table where Jacob and I interviewed. The same kettle and teacups and water glasses sit in the middle, and the warm lantern light makes the room seem smaller, more private. They speak in serious tones, all related to schooling. There is no mention of what happened outside our home last night.

Jacob folds his hands under his chin, staring at Master. "So, Alair. Since you want to attend university, you will need to work hard because it is competitive. If you want a scholarship of any kind, you will need to write an impressive essay." Master nods. "I need you to think about something significant in your life, any part of it, and connect it to why you even want to study abroad."

"But how do I even start? Take notes, write paragraphs about nothing?" he mutters, staring at his tea. The bitter, flowery warmth remains on my tongue, despite trying to subtly wash it out with water. Jacob looks at me with tightened lips like he's trying not to laugh. "Should I just write about Kai? Or is that too easy?"

"Kyrov may work, but think it over. Your family, your studies, an event that changed your life. We may discuss them the next time." Jacob sets his cup down. "After that advice, you asked for beer. I was reluctant, but I gave you a little so you could relax."

"Oh, so I was drinking," Master fumes. "Sorry, Mother."

"So, Alli." Jacob sips more tea. "After that, we got some books from here and we looked over my notes and entries and read some information about places to study. We looked at the professors who taught at my school and texts and materials and study paths. Then we reviewed your math, teaching, writing, and reading skills. I'm sorry to say this, but Merle will need to tutor you in math. Again." He contains his laughter at Master's gawking face, and I fight away a smile. Jacob leans his elbows on the table and lowers his eyelids, gazing at him. "But Alair. I know you've gotten better with it. I heard that a year ago, you couldn't even add 1 and 1 properly." He continues laughing at Master's face.

Still trying to hide a smile, I gently touch Master's arm. His eyebrows raise as he looks at me. "Don't worry, Master. You'll get really good if you keep doing it. Remember when you taught me how to read and write?"

He smiles, his eyes sparkling. My stomach flips. "Yeah. You're right, Kai." He starts laughing. "I don't think you've ever given up when I'm teaching you. I want to be like you." And he pokes my nose. I blush, my eyes darting towards Jacob.

He smiles, his eyes never leaving us when he takes a sip from his teacup. "Oh, you've mentioned that before, Alair. What was it like, teaching Kyrov?"

"Well, you know how we started learning that stuff when we were little? And it was so hard to learn? It was like that for him. But you know, we kept doing it. And he's all right now."

"Master is a good teacher," I say. "I'm honored to be his student."

"Mmm, a student," Jacob muses. "Yes. A fitting word. I'm glad he has that skill, too. No wonder he's a good teacher. He does well when he's tutoring the children and adults alike."

Master smiles. "Thanks."

Jacob suddenly looks uncomfortable. "Alair... last night... did you...?"