the lives of butterflies

year 5 - waking (winter pt.8)

I can't stop myself from touching him. The freckles that caught my eyes on the first day I met him - they're sprinkled across his cheeks like the stars in the sky above us. His hair that I've always wanted to stroke, is caught in my fingers as I lie over him, kissing him over and over again. His hands against my backside, our hips moving like waves in a storm, his moans begging for more. Every muscle in my body aches for more, too, but why won't he let me go further?

His clothes lie under him, the moon revealing the slenderness of his body, his chest, stomach, everything. I feel the ridges of his ribs, trace my fingers down his front. His own dick, wanting release from his underwear. But he stops me when I touch his waistband. I growl, baring my teeth at him, my tail thrashing. "What are you waiting for, Jacob?" My voice is hushed. "Don't you want to fuck?" The word tastes sweet on my tongue, filling my mouth.

"Breathe, Kyrov," he murmurs, his thumb on my lips, his pupils huge. "Let's stay like this for a bit."

Fuck the clan. They can wait. I lie against him, feeling the pounding of his heart. I close my eyes, savoring the stroking of my tail, his warm breath in my ears. I sigh, content only for now. These new emotions, sensations, coursing through me. Lust. Desire. Want. I inhale, wanting to remember even the slightest trace of him. "Jacob." I kiss his collarbone.

He moans. "Yes, Kai?" He's stroking my hair. Warmth floods me again.

A lick, and another moan. "How long can we be here?"

"You want this to last?"

"Yes. I've never felt so good in my life."

"We could be like this forever, Kyrov." His finger runs under my collar, the tickle of his nail making me shiver. "If you let me be your master. If you become my servant."

"Your servant..." To touch him like this forever, our words exchanged through kisses, every touch sending shivers down my spine. So this is what pleasure was. Happiness. Intimacy. Just him and me. Us. "Yes. I want that."

The sudden tightness of the collar. It didn't belong to me anymore. A reminder of a troublesome, needless past infected with memories of a cruel, ruthless, impulsive master. One who beat me, teased me, used me mercilessly.

I hiss. "I no longer wish to be Alair's servant, Jacob. Let me be yours instead!" It's choking me! I cannot rip it away. "Jacob," I gasp. "Help me. I want to be free."

"Yes, I know." His voice. It's different. Lower. Silkier. The voice of a predator whom I wanted to catch me. "I will set you free, once and for all, my Kyrov."

I look up at him. The glint of a knife in his hand, and I reach for the cut.

- - - - -

And he looks up past me, his eyes wide. Slitted pupils opening in fear. Needle-sharp fangs in his mouth.

Orange light fills my vision as I watch him collapse into the snow, a lantern by his head, the heavy thump ringing in my ears. "Jacob!" I scream. I whirl around, growling, when someone traps me in their arms. I snarl, raking my nails along their head. It gasps, making the sounds of a dying animal. I struggle free, shoving it to the ground. Jacob is sitting up in the snow, holding his head. "Jacob!"

He turns slowly, smiling. He raises a hand to me, the knife in his hand. "Kyrov. Come."

I stand, take a step-

"Kai!"

I stare at the boy with tears in his eyes. I growl and bare my teeth. He's the one who hurt Jacob. The one who hurt me. I run to Jacob to protect him. The feeling of his arms lingers around me, his kisses burned onto my skin, every muscle, every part of my body, ready to make him mine.

The boy speaks again. "Kai, stop! What are you doing?!"

A monstrous noise escapes my throat. His eyes widen, and he's shrinking back. Just like how I would, if...

I smell her before I see her. I turn my head and lights flash suddenly. Someone is pinning me against a tree. Who is this! I flail, lashing out and slicing open flesh. Another lash, more flesh. The stench of blood stains the air, and a gargled scream of pain echoes through the forest before there's a thump in the snow. My ears flick, the scream lodging in them. I blink. Whose voice was that? I've heard it before, from a lifetime ago...

The aching wails and screams of those around me. Was someone crying? I stare at my nails. When did they become so long? And they reek of blood.

Whose blood was it?

I blink. The night is clear. The snow is strangely sharp and glows like crystals. I can see the tiny details in the tree bark, every star in the sky through jagged branches, the outline of the lantern, burning with orange motes, slowly leaking into the snow. The smell of burnt wood, singed water, smoke. Hisses of crackling leaves. I look at the body at my feet, lying in the snow. It's so still, like a lonely autumn leaf. And the other body. There.

- - - - -

He is bleeding.

He is bleeding.

My master is bleeding.

He is losing his life and it is because of me.