the lives of butterflies

year 5 - answers (winter pt.4)

Both of us are surprised at the amount of detail. "So how long were you watching him?" Master asks. "Were you doing research already?"

"Not at the time. I suppose he was the one that got me started on my research, though. I would just need a very good reason to speak with him. Especially if he belonged to the dean of the whole university." Master gawks. There are sparks in Jacob's eyes. He looks alive for the first time today. "Oh, and is it bad to say I spied on him for months without ever speaking to him?"

Master laughs, slapping the table. "No way. You're lying!"

"No lies in sight."

"So he was the dean's? Where'd he get him?"

"Just luck, really. This omega needed a master, so his plan was to knock on the doors of all the houses. He got lucky on the first try. It was the dean. One look and he knew he was an omega. They were formally bonded the next day."

"So you can find omegas in different ways."

"That's correct."

"What about the mansion omega?"

"He got lucky, too. He needed work, and the mistress of the mansion and her husband just happened to be walking on the same street just as they were about to board the carriage. He was just standing there, alone, in the snow. She offered the job to him, he accepted, and he still serves them today."

"Wow. That sounds like a happy ending."

"He is rather content."

"What about the university omega?"

"I can only hope that the dean is giving him a good life."

Master wrinkles his brow nervously. "So then... what about their souls?"

Jacob rubs his fingers along the teacup's rim. "These masters tend to be much older, so they may not be as prone to mistreating their omegas. So their souls are generally safe." He looks at Master intensely, which makes him shrink back in his seat. "I am grateful that you have changed for the better, Alair. The effects of such mistreatment are never good ones. There is one case of a master so abusive that in the end, his omega died, and he was left without memory of his omega, confused and deluded."

It is quiet as Master takes this in. What he could have become. Everything is so still in the room, like we're trapped in a painting.

My shoulders sink, and Master relaxes. His breathing slows. "That's horrible."

"I am glad you are no longer like that, Alair." Jacob watches him, sipping his tea.

He grits his teeth, looks away. "Me too."

I touch his arm gently. "I am happy too, Master."

He relaxes fully and looks at me. His relieved smile, his sleepy eyes. "That was a close one, I guess."

"Mm. Kyrov?" Jacob's voice is very tired. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"What is it?" My ears perk up at his tone. Even when he said his goal last time was to take a nap, it still seemed like he hadn't slept for even a few minutes.

"The full moon is coming up. To continue my research, I'm curious if I can escort you to the woods and observe what happens during the chase."

My eyes widen, and Master tenses. There is a tinge of jealousy mixed in.

"You want to watch the chase?" I ask.

"Yes. I will be on the outskirts of the forest. I will be listening to any conversation and watching your movements, but I will never intervene. I will be taking notes as I observe. Think of it like a ghost watching everything that is happening."

"That's pretty dark," Master says. "I don't think you're dead yet, Jacob."

"Are you sure? I don't look dead?" He raises an eyebrow.

Master laughs, and I feel so light at his joy. "I just wish I could come with you."

"Well, it depends on whether I am allowed to attend. Of course, any being besides you could walk through that forest, but I'd like explicit permission from the omega himself. What do you say, Kyrov?" His green eyes, now dulled with exhaustion, stare into mine.

And for his research, his relationship with Master, his curiosity, I accept.

His eyes shine with gratitude. "Thank you, Kyrov."

Master is quiet before speaking again. "Jacob, is it possible for omegas to fall in love?"

Whether it's from his tiredness or the randomness of the question, his face seems to go through several thoughts and emotions before returning to normal. "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know."

I cannot tell what he is thinking. My tail twitches in confusion.

"Mmm-hmmm." Jacob stares at him, then breaks into laughter again. "In what way do you mean, Alair?" He grins, placing his chin on folded hands. "Sexually? Romantically? Have you just realized something important?"

His eyes wide, mouth open, he stumbles over his words, embarrassment creeping through him. "Well, I don't know. Maybe someone just found an omega really attractive, and then maybe the omega thought the same as well, and then...? I don't know."

"Such as, if a master fell in love with his omega? Or the other way around?"

Master swallows. I watch his throat bounce with the effort.

Jacob chuckles. "Those questions aren't too hard, are they?" He stretches, cracking his back against the chair. "Mm. That felt good." He looks at the clock. "Wouldn't you like to spend some time alone with Kyrov? Or Merle, maybe? She might be missing you."

Master is quiet, still open-mouthed at Jacob's taunts. Jacob sighs, stands and arranges the glasses in the middle of the table, starts browsing the books. He reaches the window and watches another round of snow begin to fall. "It's snowing again. You might want to head home soon, both of you. I want to take another nap."

"But-"

"Do omegas fall in love, Kyrov? I wish I knew."

And Master doesn't see, because he's staring again into his hands, blushing, but Jacob leans his forehead against the window, presses his lips lightly against the glass. His breath appears, and he wipes it away before coming back to the table.

I stand and push my chair in, then place a hand on Master's shoulder. He jumps, then quickly stands and shoves the chair back into place.

"Kyrov, you agreed that we walk together into the forest for the full moon. We shall meet in the evening at Merle's house, since it is closest to the forest. I will be there and ready to walk with you." His lids are fluttering with tiredness now. I can imagine seeing the frost on his lips from the window. "Agreed?"

"I agree, Jacob. Master shall walk with me to Merle's house before we leave for the forest."

He holds his hand out, in the same way we first met. "Thank you, Kyrov."

I shake his hand. The warmth seeps through me, tickling my toes and the tips of my ears and tail. "Thank you, Jacob."

Master is quiet on our ride back home. I wonder how long Jacob will nap for.

I feel a weight on my shoulder. He's fallen asleep, his breathing soft. His hands tucked into his coat pockets, impossible to move.

I tuck my arm under his so that we're linked. So he won't fly off at the slightest bump in the road. To make him feel safe, even when he's sleeping and wrapped in layers of warmth.

I lean my head on his. Imagine him dozing next to me, in my bed, under the same blankets. And I let myself think about what it's like, to fall in love with my master.

Because maybe I already have.