The roof was rather interesting.
Well, when it's midnight and you can't move because your chained to a sleeping detective.
L was asleep for the first time in months, he's burnt himself out. You knew he'd get back issues again if he stayed asleep at his desk, sitting up. So you moved him to bed and wrapped him up in blankets.
Although that meant you couldn't move because you were chained to him and didn't want to wake him up.
So there you were, starring at the roof, unable to sleep.
Although this was giving you lots of time to think, about the add and such.
Let's see, what have you observed?
Touching each other and praising each other result in a weird fuzzy feeling.
Calling each other friends makes you feel a little sad for some reason.
Contact often results in stuttering.
You feel the need to protect each other.
You make each other happy.
What does it all mean? What does it all link up too?
What do you want to do with L?
Travel the world solving cases with him, go out on trips together, watch anime together, have sleepovers... all that friend stuff.
But you couldn't help but feel a little desire for something more.
When he hugged you, you loved it.
You craved his hugs.
When he called you by nicknames, you felt special.
You loved his nicknames for you.
When he grabs you hand to pull you somewhere, you enjoy his touch.
You want to hold hands with him.
When you're feeling sad, he always manages to pick you up.
You want to spends quiet moments alone with him, just enjoying each others company.
You haven't felt this way for someone... ever.
The closest you felt to someone were you parents before they abandoned you, before they became toxic... or more, before you realised they were toxic. That feeling if safety a child gets when they're with their family is what you feel with L, but, he's not family?
You can't really view him as family either, but something else close to you.
What was it?
Before L, you never had any friends, you were too young to remember anything that happened before your parents left you. Your life was grey and bitter, until L came in that day with the oversized jacket and scarf, his little smile bringing colour to your world.
Why?
What was the core of this feeling?
You'd never felt all warm and fuzzy like this since... your early childhood when you had love in your life, before things went downhill.
You turned to look at the sleeping boy next to you, instinctively pushing his fringe away from his eyes as he slept.
L... what a guy.
He's smart, he's mysterious, he's intriguing, he can be a little confusing at times but you'd learnt to get used to that. And to be honest... he's pretty cute.
He seems all tough behind his title of worlds greatest detective, but he's a total softie.
It took years for him to fully open up to you, and all it did was raise more questions.
He had his strengths, but like any human, he had his flaws.
Like his weird moral codes, you always had to step in and tell him when he was going way too far in a case, he has no ill intentions, but you still have to step in sometimes. His lack of social skills is also a flaw of his, he may be chill with you, because he's known you the longest, but with others, he's a little stiff.
L's a handful. But you're ok with that.
Why?
Anyone else would probably find it annoying, how L has very specific tastes, needs and wants, but not you.
You didn't care. You just wanted him to be happy, safe and alive.
You wanted to protect him, to guide him through the darkness, be there when he's sad, be the one he can trust.
You wanted to hug him, to hold his hand and tell him it's all going to be ok, to fall asleep watching anime together, to enjoy time with him, just the two of you.
You felt connected to him.
You gazed at him, just taking in the silence. The only thing to be heard were the crickets outside and the sound of L gently breathing in and out as he got the sleep he so desperately needed.
"Why am I so attached to you?" You whispered to yourself, interlocking your fingers with his.
Attachment, that's what it was. But why?
That was the only question you had left, why?
Why? Why? Why?
Why did you feel so close to him?
You thought about all the books and movies you'd seen trying to match up everything you wanted to do with L to a story to compare.
"It's like... the summer garden... that book was about two kids who felt so connected to each other they spent all summer together and eventually fell-"
It hit you.
It hit you like a baseball bat to the face.
Everything clicked into place, everything suddenly made sense, all of those questions had been answered, all your feelings finally making sense.
How could you have been so stupid? This should have been the first thing you thought of.
Everything was so clear now.
"I'm... I'm in love with L" you said to yourself.
This whole time, for as long as you'd known him, you'd been in love with him.
You starred down at the sleeping boy.
The one you could now call your crush.
Then a second wave of realisation hit you.
You'd held hands with your crush, you hugged your crush, you made a promise as kids to your crush, you were in the same bed as your crush... YOU WERE HANDCUFFED TO YOUR CRUSH.
Your reaction? Panic. You NEEDED to tell someone, you had to get it all out.
Because one thing was looming over you...
What if what L was feeling this whole time... wasn't what you were?
YOU ARE READING
Case File: L Lawliet • L Lawliet x Reader
Fanfiction[Book 1/?] [unedited] You had known L since he arrived at the orphanage thanks to Mr Wammy telling you to make friends with him and show him around. But something about the boy made you curious. The two of you grew to be friends and detectives along...
