Case File: L Lawliet • L Lawliet x Reader

Chapter 18 | finally saying it

This was getting ridiculous. He was just so... blind!

You knew L wasn't the best at emotions but he's great at reading people. He knew there was something wrong, he just didn't know what. No matter how many hints you'd tried to drop of the past few weeks of realising your feelings, he hasn't managed to figure it out.

A and B were just waiting for you to say it, they knew from the beginning about you and L, they were just waiting in anticipation for the ship to sail. At this point, the whole orphanage knew that you and L had a spark, except L. He just couldn't see it.

You'd decided you were going to tell him soon, it was getting to frustrating to bottle it all up. That and your sudden odd behaviour around L made him interrogate you like a killer every second of the day as he tried to get to the bottom of it. It was making him kind of mad that you wouldn't tell him, he felt kind of betrayed. You always told him everything, you had since you were kids, but you just wouldn't budge this time.

He knew that he shouldn't push if you didn't want to tell him, but he wanted to know in case it was something bad.

And that resulted in most conversations ending in an interrogation. And it was getting worse and worse each time, voices would be raised, and there'd be an angry tension in the air afterward. You knew you had to tell him, you just didn't know how. You've never confessed to anyone before, so it was all very new to you.

You sat on the bed, kicking your feet and playing with your hands like you do when your stressed as L finished up another side case he was doing. Your constant kicking was getting really annoying, like when you could hear someone pacing around upstairs as you watched TV downstairs. He sighed, knowing he shouldn't push any more, but he had to, your kicking was just so annoying.

"Could you stop kicking the bed? It's kind of annoying" he asked.

"Sorry..." you replied, stopping your legs from swinging and looking down at your hands.

"...you know I'm not going to judge you about anything-"

"I know"

"You can tell me anything-"

"I know"

The same answer every time he tried to talk... it was getting VERY annoying.

"(Y/n), you know that-"

"I KNOW" you snapped.

You were getting so sick of him pushing.

"Ok! I'm just-"

"I GET IT OK? CAN YOU DROP IT FOR ONE SECOND!?"

Ok, now you were just being dramatic. L wasn't one to get angry but you were reeeaalllyyy pushing his buttons, all he was doing was trying to make sure you were ok.

"WELL I'M SORRY FOR WORRYING ABOUT YOU" he snapped back.

"WORRYING? MORE LIKE INVADING MY LIFE!" You said, standing up and looking down angrily at him.

He closed his laptop and stood up, looking down at you, getting furious with your bullshit.

"SO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WORRY ABOUT THE GIRL I'VE KNOWN SINCE I WAS A KID? YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE OK!" He yelled.

"YOU'RE BEING SO INTRUSIVE! EVERY CONVERSATION IS LIKE A GODDAMN INTERROGATION!" You yelled back.

"I JUSY WANT TO KNOW WHY (Y/N), YOU HAD SUCH A SUDDEN CHANGE IN BEHAVIOUR AND STARED TO PUSH ME AWAY. AND EVERY TIME I TRY TO ASK OF YOU'RE OK YOU GET ALL MAD!"

"BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF BEING ASKED THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER THAT I'VE ALREADY ANSWERED!"

"SAYING 'IT'S NOTHING' EVERY TIME ISN'T A REASSURING ANSWER"

You tried to walk away and storm off, only to be pulled back by the handcuffs around your wrist that pulled you back toward L.

"JUST DROP IT!" You snapped.

"JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH AND I WILL" he snapped back.

"YOU WANNA KNOW SO BADLY?! HUH?! YOU'RE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND YOU CAN'T EVEN READ YOUR OWN EMOTIONS L, FOR WEEKS I'VE BEEN WORRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO DISCONNECTED FROM REALITY TO REALISE IT FOR YOURSELF"

"YOU'RE MAKING ZERO SENSE!"

"FUCKING HELL! CAN'T YOU SEE? THE REASON WE HATE THE WORD FRIEND?! THE REASON WE GET ALL SOFT AROUND EACH OTHER, THE REASON I CARE SO DEEPLY FOR YOU?!" You exclaimed.

He let out a frustrated sigh.

"If I knew that, WE WOULD'NT BE WEARING THESE DAMN HANDCUFFS!" He snapped.

You wanted to scream, he was just THAT bad at emotions wasn't he?

"OH MY GOD L, TAKE A FUCKING HINT. I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

Silence filled the room.

You said it... you actually said it. It definitely wasn't the way you thought you'd tell him, but you managed to get it out. He just starred at you, not knowing what to do with the new information.

Then the realisation hit.

You threw your hands over your mouth and a million thoughts rushed through your mind.

You yelled at him... what if he hated you? What if he never liked you to begin with? Why did you have to say it then and there? What have you done?

L on the other hand was too confused to process everything properly. But everything made lots of sense now, why you acted the way you did around him, why you cared for him so much, why you had s sudden change in behaviour...

He also realised why the word 'friend' was weird to you, because you wanted to be more than just friends. He'd never really understood love, this was all completely new to him.

But he finally understood.

The reason why he kept you so close, was because he loved you too.

He just had no idea what to do now.