Cross My Heart And Hope To Die [Mellowalker] Book 1 * UNDER EDITING*

Chapter 12: Slight depression

|Depresso Expresso :T|

(Marshmello POV)

I woke up to the sound of a doctor snapping and telling me to get up, I sat up and left the room while looking back at Alan until I got out of the room completely. I left the hospital still feeling desperate to see him again, I got into my car and drove back to my house, on the way I realized tomorrow I had to leave for America and tomorrow, Alan and maybe the kids come back. I really just wanted to cry because I couldn't even see my children or Alan. I got back home and immediately sat on the couch and hugged my knees and cried, I was alone and I couldn't have anyone here for me, I looked around with blurry, teary-eyed vision and saw myself looking in a mirror.
(Words in this font is in mind or head)

"Look at yourself, you're weak, worthless, and sad. Oh so sad..."It said in my mind.
"I'm not weak..I-I'm just...Not working mentally"I said to myself.
"Shut it!..You're worthless, if you weren't so useless I wouldn't be here then"It said.
"Shut up!"I silently shouted at myself. It silently laughed then said.
"

Oh please..I love messing with head, I hope you know you're talking to yourself right?"It said messing with me even more.
"I-I..Uh.."I stuttered. I look around and saw no one or nothing, it was pitch black.
"What's happening?!"I shouted then jumped.
"You're in your head of course! I thought you'd know!"It said.
"Please stop this.."I begged.
"Oh..Why? You want to see him?"It said as it showed Alan sleeping in the hospital.
"What?!"I said confused.
"Oh it would be such a shame if anything happened to him, as you know he's not fully ready to fight any diseases right? and don't say I forget about the other small ones..."It said as it showed the two girls in a crib in the hospital.
"Don't you dare touch them!!"I shouted in anger and fear.
"Hm.. I'm not that cruel but, I won't hesitant to do so.."It laughed silently.
"What do you want from me?!"I shouted.
"I want to be part of you until one day I can finally take control of you fully, it hasn't been the first I have taken over your body.."It said.
"What?.."I said confused.
"Remember back in your hometown when Alan was beat badly and had to be taken to the hospital and then you felt so guilty of yourself for breaking a promise to him saying you'd protect from anything then, I took over and forcefully wanted to give him my disease."It explained
"That was you.."I said looking down and crying a little tears.
"Yes..And if you want to survive, you better follow by my rules! and no one gets hurt.."It threatened me.
"And you know there's more of me, in fact, Alan has these little emotions too"It said.
"What do you mean there's more of you!"I shouted.
"Well.. There Guilt, me, and there's Envy, Lust, Pride, Greed, Wrath, and Sloth."It said.
"What do they do?"I asked.
"Hm.. Well, I punish you for being untrustworthy or not being honest. Envy will push you when you see something you want but can't have and will force you to get it. Lust will push you to do sexual things when you see something you "like". Pride will make you overly confident and make you do things that are more than dangerous. Greed will make you selfish and over-confident and you're not caring  in the slightest. Wrath will make you violent and aggressive and you'll want to kill things around and have visions of murder. Sloth will make you lazy and have no care in this world about other and you only want to satisfy yourself. This is you for now on till the day you die!"It explained.
"I don't want those.."I begged.
"Too bad! Too sad!"I laughed.

I woke up from what seemed like a nightmare, I was sweating and panting. I saw it was the next day, how long was I unconscious?. I sat up and just stared at the ground wondering what the literal hell happened to me. My phone rang and it was the people from the hospital saying Alan's coming home as well as Everlee and Luna, I was happy but realized today I had to leave for America so, I was mostly unhappy. I hear a knock on the door and I opened it and found Alan holding  Everlee and Luna. I hugged him tightly then let go. His expression went from happy to concerned just because I looked I've been through hell and I did.

"Chris what's wrong with you?"He questioned.

"I-I'm sorry Alan.."I said sadly.

"Sorry for what?"He said confused.

"I have to leave for America, I hate it too I know but, I just have to and hopefully I can come back someday and be with you, Everlee, and Luna"I said trying not to cry. He frowned at this and I just wanted to comfort him with all my heart.

"B-But what about me and the kids, I thought you said you were going to stay with me forever"He said wistfully. I felt a force crash on to me when I heard him say "I thought you were going to stay with me forever" because I broke another promise and now I feel guilty and weak. My eyes lost shine and I felt dizzy. I saw myself standing in a pitch black room.

"You broke another promise Chris.." Guilt said in disbelief
"I'm sorry ok! I tried!"I shouted
"Trying is going to solve anything so, the only way is to perhaps.. Hurt someone a little special to you to teach you a lesson!"Guilt said cynically.
"No..DON'T HURT THEM"I yelled.
"You know what I said, I punish you for being untrustworthy!"It said
"No..NO!!"I shouted.

I suddenly broke out of the trance and I was sweating like crazy. I quickly pulled Alan inside and sat him and the girls down on the couch.

"Chris what's going on?"Alan said puzzled.

"It's gonna hurt you!"I said as I quickly pulled him and the girls into me.

"Chris, you're scaring me.."Alan said scared. I hushed him and comforted him by kissing his neck.

"Chris, what are you doing?"He questioned me.

"Trying to comfort you, it's trying to hurt you"I explained.

"What's trying to hurt me?"He said.

"Not just you, maybe the girls too"I said.

"Ok Chris, I only just got back here and you're already acting insane!"He said as he pushed me away.

"No Alan!"I shouted for him.

"I need you to act reasonable here!"He said going up the stairs.

"So I want you to b-"He got cut off by slipping on the stair steps and falling down as he hit his head.

"Alan!"I got up and went towards him. He groaned in pain as he had a bloody nose and a bruise and his forehead.

"Oh my god Alan are you ok?"I said frightened. He just groaned then nodded. I got up and got a tissue to clean his face as it was mostly covered in blood from his nose.

"I-I'm f-fine"He said dazed. This is what Guilt meant about hurting someone, he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't going to hesitant to do so. I picked him up and sat him on the couch to rest while, I was playing with the girls, they were so cute but Everlee was mostly pretty timid and secluded and, Luna was bubbly, chirpy, and lively. They were getting tired and fell asleep, leaving me with myself. I couldn't stay though, until I had a thought...

A/N
I had a nosebleed during the whole stair fiasco coincidence I think not!Sorry for any errors. Goodbye and I'll talk to you all later! KS!