My future was bright but now the road seems a little hazy
How many times do I have to fall of the track just to get some people to be amazed of me
Falling in and out of friendships and relationships just to try and find myself lately
But it seems the only thing I'm finding is the bottom of another bottle, crazy.
Why is it we think that alcohol seduces the pain?
Why is it we think that drugs will be nothing but gain?
Why is it we find that someone else could save us?
When really it is you who can only save you.
You think you don't know someone till they prove who they are.
All of the makeup, scars, and masks that they hide behind when all you gotta do is look them right in the eye.
You think someone will be there for you no matter what but they remove you in hopes that you notice, just so that you could do the same.
You try to reach out to them, but before you hit send you think "man, maybe I'm better off dead, cause that's how it feels when you decide you don't need me anymore".
Then a couple weeks to a month goes by and not once do I hear a reply. Then I get a message "me and him are having issues and you're the only one that listens.
Well, fuck you. I should have never dated you. I should have never got close to you. I missed so many opportunities with other people who now don't want nothing to do with me. All because I'm human. A human that makes mistakes. But yet they don't care nor see that, they only see what they wanna see. The picture isn't molded perfectly for them to see I'm trying. To see the nights I stay up crying, to see a day where I don't think about dying. Honestly who would miss me, you? Nah. Probably not. Haven't heard from anyone. All I get are black photos with an "S" to symbolize a stupid Snapchat streak. So what's the point of friendships when it comes to that? What's the point of a relationship when all it does is bring up the past? Why am I asking simple, yet hard to answer questions? It's so easy for you to just act like I don't exist, so why not make that come true? You have no idea what's happening anymore. I worry about you but you seem fine. I'm blocked out of your life, cool, thanks bye.
My future was bright, the visions getting more blurry. How much time will pass, till someone mourns over me?
My dads back with cancer. What a shocker. But you wouldn't know, all you cared about was yourself. Why do my feelings matter to you, right? You didn't seem to care when we were close, cause now I'm just another dude you threw off the cliff. Down in the trenches, not swimming with just the sharks but every other fish in the sea that see nothing in me. Surrounded by dangers and fake I don't know how much more I can take till I drown in my thoughts of pure happiness and alcohol?
Let's be friends, but we can love each other. Well never be more cause you're just to sweet of a guy. I need someone who'll care for me, who knows about me, but just not you. You're too nice. Seeing me with you would be a perfect life, where I wouldn't have to worry about another abusive relationship. But I don't want that. Me and you would be a relationship where you'd do anything for me no matter what. But I don't want that. At least, not with you.
My future is dark, and my vision has been opened. I'm seeing clear through all the bullshit. I'm seeing straight into the darkness. And I see you. Are you the one who's going to help me? Or are you my last person who'll finally drown me.
My future is sealed, and my eyes are closed, let's take a ride and see where it goes. S
