lie //yoonmin

5 // yoongi

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I've rewritten this chapter so many times, I'm genuinely considering throwing my laptop out the window. It been two weeks since the failed attempt at getting with Jimin.

I suddenly feel incredibly unqualified to be writing these types of stories.

I shut my laptop and go lie down in my bed, snuggling into the cold comforter.

I had a boyfriend in college but that was almost 5 years ago. He was a freshman while I was a senior. We really thought that we would get married and start a family together.

After I graduated, we tried to keep our relationship together but my first novel had started getting a lot of attention and I couldn't find the time. He said it was ok and he was so so supportive, but I ruined it all.

He broke up with me shortly after saying that he doesn't even feel like we're together anymore. It broke my heart but it also made my writing so much better.

Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. Giving up the love of my life for my career. Of course I'm over him now, but I can't shake the idea that if I find someone new the same thing will happen all over again.

I sit up and pull a grey colored book out of my bookshelf. The title, Wonder, is written across the top. My alias "Suga" printed below it.

I flip through the pages that told my first love story and freeze when I reach the dedication page.

To my one and only, Kookie

I shut the book and toss it aside, wishing that my first success didn't have to hold so much heartbreak.

The loneliness is overwhelming. I just want to be held so badly. I want to fall asleep in someone's arms again.

This feeling is all too familiar. As much as I tell myself that my writing and fans are all I need, it doesn't cover up the fact that I am incredibly lonely and desperate for someone to love.

I reach for my phone, scrolling through my contacts before pressing on Hobi.

"What's up Yoongs," he says when he picks up.

"Let's go out later," I say.

"Where to?" He asks confused, knowing that I hate leaving my house.

"To a club or something. It's been a while since I've done something fun," I admit.

Honestly I just want to get laid. That's the best short term solution to loneliness.

"Yayy ok! I'll pick you up at 8," he says excitedly.

"Ok," I say, faking excitement to match his tone.

Hookups usually leave me feeling like shit the morning after, but it's the only option I have, other than lying around feeling sorry for myself.

I pull myself up to get ready seeing that it's already 6 and I've wasted most of my day.

Staring at my reflection, I realize my roots are growing out. Maybe it's time to redye my hair. I look through my cabinet and consider going for a different color but settle on my usual brown hair dye.

An hour later I'm a brunette again and I have to admit I look damn good. I apply some makeup, lining my eyes so they look sharper than usual.

I pick out the sexiest outfit in my closet. Leather jeans with a silky black v-neck along with a velvety red jacket and a black choker.

I admire my reflection before heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat before leaving.

~V

I'm imagining Yoongles in that outfit rn and ouii that's hot🤤

He's probably already worn something like that but I'm too lazy to find it.

Also-- so the pictures I'm leaving at the top of the chapter are supposed to help you visualize the chapter better :)