Cheater (Complete)

Chapter Forty-Three: Grow Up and Blow Away

Another Memory...

This was starting to get annoying. It was about three days after the last argument about sex. It wasn't even an argument. It was Dean avoiding me and running away.

And now it was starting up again.

Just like last time, I had let him get a little closer to me. We cuddled and made out for a while. But I didn't let him touch me like he had last time. I didn't feel right about it and felt that he would maybe try to blame me for that, demanding that I return the favor if he gave me pleasure.

I was planning to talk about it, to really get into the heart of the problems.

But, like last time, Dean tried to take it a little far and ran off when I didn't give in.

He left the apartment completely when I insisted we talk.

I think he was down the hall. There was some sort of party going on and there was sure to be some alcohol. As I understood it, Dean didn't like to drown his problems (our not having sex for example) in alcohol. Instead, he drowned himself in girls. And he drank just enough to disconnect while he was doing it.

You have no idea how nervous I am right now, how angry, how sad. I wanted to scream. I knew what he was capable of. Girls threw their panties at him from across the street. Even in the chair.

Ruby, that slut, would be at the party. I knew she was after him.

My heart twisted in my chest.

I almost wished that Dean were the type to drown his sorrows in alcohol alone. He could do that here, safely away from any college whore.

I trusted him. I trusted him when he had a level head. I didn't trust him when he's been drinking (as he would surely do) and in the presence of the very thing I was denying him.

Did this really originate from me gently telling him 'no'?

I hated it. I hated that such a stupid thing made the guy I loved turn into an ass.

But I couldn't just stand by while our relationship fell apart. It was around eleven now. He hasn't come home. He left around eight. He's been gone for three hours.

I almost felt sick.

Would he really do it? Would he really cheat on me?

I was terrified.

What could I do? Seriously? It was clear that he had a hard time talking about this. I have no idea why. I can't say that I haven't been reluctant though, so I guess I can understand.

For me, it was embarrassing. It was painful.